Blogging My Life =)

My life with perfect imperfection

2011-09-07T09:14:00.003+08:00

Hey my bloggie hey my blogger and hey my silent readers (if there is anyone). I’m to be blamed for not posting any entry. Yes, I should be! I’ve gotten myself too busy during my internship period which started on three months before and it was my last day one day before Raya. I’m settling down everything now waiting for my new semester.

I did discarded lot of entertainments as I was really tired when I get home from work (So I’ve been a good boy for the three months)

How about your life? Is everything fun? There’re more story but for this moment I’ll be skimping or just skipping as some are too privacy to be listed here, it’ll be in my private blog.

I have a thought; it comes to me in sudden as i listen to Bruno Mars, makes me log in my blog and typing all these.

How do you define P.E.R.F.E.C.T? Is it if everything you want in life comes to you one by one or you have zero mistakes made in life?

How about IMPERFECT? It's all about SUCKS, WORSE or WEAK?

Tell me now, do you ever imaging of your future lover? I mean, before you meet them or ultimately bump in love. I guess the expectation is always beyond your limit! Hahaha..

A girl expects her future boy friend to be rich like Tom Cruise, tall, fair like Robert Partison and smile like Beckham or cute as Justin.

A guy might dream for a girl like princess Taylor swift, sexy lips Angelina Julie or hot body like Megan Fox.

Hey don’t laugh, I guess it’s so true in life. It isn’t a sin through even I did it in life.

I do expect, I do dream, I do hope, I do wish and I do W.A.N.T J

But what if the one turns out isn’t totally fulfil your desires, but ended up you guys are IN LOVE?

Believe me, love is blind. It doesn’t blind your heart but eyes. Once you’ve fallen to someone, he/she will be superb perfect for you even though your friends might be like ‘ Hey, is that guy/girl your taste?’

Come on. Let your heart rules your feeling. I used to be a right at front when it comes to encouraging people to go for what they want in life. I’m a believer that if you don’t aim high, you’ll get zero but it doesn’t apply in love. Love is all about give and take, it isn’t a game when you hit more you’ll get higher points. It’s all about perfect imperfection. People might say your lover is not perfect but your heart will defences and say, NO, he/she is just fine in my eyes. You get the power of love?

We might probably hide our scars, wrinkles but our imperfection can’t be hided. Noted it and accept it.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't be shamed of your lover imperfection but be thanked, God makes no perfect :)

And last,

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements because love keeps you alive and look younger.

*Enjoy the music while reading! Thanks for visiting, i do love and i still love :)

My Life with Recent ...

2011-06-18T12:24:00.004+08:00

--------------- My Life, My Story, My Blog, My Feeling ---------------------

The owner is busy now, start with the internship, have been burying himself into works. My bad for making this blog not-so-alive :)

_____My Desk______

Office is full of drama, this is what i can reveal, after all, my department is still manageable, i mean within the limit that i can still handle. As an intern can seriously drag you down in fast speed. Cut it to short, my team is very nice human, the way they assign me to perform jobs, the way they request me to backing-up the works, always being polite. I recognized a fact, maybe it's a culture. Nah, they are frankly result oriented (let's put this way)- if you're performing, they'll really like you and empowering you.

p/s: When you're doing nothing or being too free in the office, it might means you're not-reliable (or-not-performing), i'm G.L.A.D that i have plenty to do! They involve me into forum, discussion and dealing with VIP clients, they do put some heavy responsible on my shoulder, feel like i've been appreciated. GLORY GLORY MR GAZY :)

‿◕ My office suit :)

Well.. did you notice

Regarding to my family. Hmmmm... they're doing fine so far and healthy. I put highlighted on HEALTHY *fingers crossed*

For myself, i found hard in understanding myself lately! I'm puzzled sometimes. Many said i've changed. Did i change? Or it's due to my unpredictable personality? I keep demanding, i'm hot temper, i'm realistic.. I say: Improving life isn't a sin, isn't it? But i do really wish the changes of mine can lead me to a better way, a right track.

Lastly, Happy Fathers' Day, I love my dad :)

p/s: BTW, i want to make this as my next collection, if :)

My life with updating

2011-05-16T21:36:00.003+08:00

Latest number 1
Latest number 2

Life In KL

Sorry for not posting any entry lately. I have gotten to be busiest these few w

eeks. I admit that many news and things have happened that were blog-able but due to my sloth-like attitude these few weeks, I’ve never post anything here until today. Sorry my bloggie L

I: Semester came to its end and all the assignments have to be done *I done mine earlier and submitted earlier than the date supposed*

Ii: Busy for my interview, I went to 3 companies for the industrial placement position and been selected, but discard go two and chose the best.

In span of weeks, I cover all the matter above all by myself!

I’ve been staying at KL/ Selangor for few months, yeah! I’m furthering my studies there. My very first time stay apart from my beloved family! Huhu...

I’m back to my hometown for my holidays, very limited! Hey, in hindsight, my brain’s close to whacking, that is why I bump myself into sleeping all time. Weather is HOT, see how I describe the weather, DAMN HOT and this is sort of creeping me out feeling the HIT!!!!

I’m counting down the days, finding times to hang-out with my friends, trying to, I’m sick now, and had my teeth extraction , my MOLAR teeth helo, and it’s still painful and bleeding that makes me feeling the Idleness of hanging out. Btw, I’m taking care of my grandma, she just had her operation. Good grandchild. *compliment pleasee*

I experiences lot of differences while moving here. Seriously yes…

Life in KL is seriously different, not that different actually, but there are some unlike … Okay, it’s different. Live without my family around.

Oops, got off track :)

I started loving the Gardenia Bread since I came to KL. Gardenia's bread selling point in my eyes is their softness but full felling of the bread but what makes me buy it the most for sure, it’s affordable for me, a student! It has become my food, most of the time. How could I sound so pathetic, it’s nice bread after all with nice taste and good price.'

I do miss my bed sometime even i'm back in my hometown :(((

Okay, shall stop now. I’m too lazy to type more here. If you’re close enough with me in facebook, you shall know my news. Oops, sound so wrong, It’s BLOG here. Sorry bloggie, I’ll keep knocking door and visit frequently, no doubt.

p/s: Happy Teachers' day to all :)

Re-post : My life with Random Facts about m.e

2011-05-03T14:38:00.001+08:00

I wondered if I could come up with few interesting facts myself. It was actually a lot harder than you may think, but heres what I came up with..

1. Home-boy

I stay home twice more than I hang out. Okay, I do hangout, only when there are special dates with friends and events that I have to. I am kind of socializing, but I never forget homed, I never stay overnight outside. I have to admit this; home is the best place to stay, all the time and forever.

2. Competitive

Well, I can’t do anything. It’s my instinct. I always want to be rated as the best, at least, a good performer. I study like nerd, sometime. It’s kind of motivation when ur staying with someone who tend to make u feel so competitive, it makes you grows fast in an effective way. Of course, a perfect and healthy competition.

3. Indonesian Chinese

This is most headaches, to letting people just go and guess about my race. People speak Malay with me everywhere (those who’s Chinese). I don’t give it a damn. Well, maybe I look so mixed, or many of them claim I have a malay look. I accept no harm at all.

4. Vegetarian

I am more into vege. I don't take fried chicken or roasted, seafoods that much. I enjoy eating just vegetables nowadays, i feel so healthy and fresh. Hahaha.. People laugh at me, but who cares? They don't pay for my life, who should be bother? Right Right Right :)

5 . A collector

My life-time-favourite. I collect aircraft models, seriously like it. I display them all at a special transparent box. I spend me a lot to go and search for each model but some are given by friends. Maybe one day I’ll feel such achievement if I able to hit 100 collection.

6. Shopaholic

You can probably date me out for shopping. Yes, I like shopping, not window shopping!!! I shop and buy. I can translate the feeling in word when you are having financial ability and shop for everything you aim for so long. I enjoy shopping for perfume, clothes, shoes, watches, healthcare /skincare products and electronic devices.

7. Industrious

This is so me. Yes, I am. I used to have some genius friends who have lesser study time than me, but everything turned out they pass exam better grade than me. I reckon one thing, I have to study smart for more, because I’m not a genius, I consume more time to digest what tutors teaching in the class. My strategy, my formula, until now, today.

8 . Hyperactive

Okay, all my friends know this, frankly. I can be as naughty as a monkey jumping up and down when I’m stick with the people I feel comfortable with. Oppositely, if you found me being silent and busying playing my phone, it means I’m not comfort and feeling boring with the people or things. You can catch me easily. In real life, I’m hyperactive baby who jokes around, laughing around and spare happiness around.

9. Shy

Hahaha… don’t laugh with this. I got pretty shy sometime. Even though I’m not bad in socializing, but I prefer people to take the first step in order for me to open the chapter and start chatting, especially when I meet someone who is pretty much adorable. The root of shyness is insecurity, do most of the talking, but toss in lots of open-ended questions to me. Once I get along with ya, you’ll be happy befriend with me. People drawn to me who at first seem callous. Then they surprised to learn that i am not. Yay

10. Adorable

Yay, I’m adorable. Everyone deserves to have an attractive point. I choose ADORABLE. Yes, everyone. There is no ugly person in this world (OMG, sound so bitch when typing this). I look at the mirror every day before I head to class, and I fall in love with myself. This is not overconfident; it means you have a value in yourself. Being confident is a key to success, in a way. I repeat, in a way.

11. Poor memory

My memory is really bad and I lose/forget my keys, cell phone, check card, rings, etc., ALL the time. If you're staying with me, you might probably detect my poor, waking up one hour earlier just to find where the hell is my keys, wallet and SO ON.

12. Rush boy

I don't like leaving things unfinished. I'm kind of rush boy, but i never do thing in rush, i hate last minute work. If I start anything, I MUST finish it, at least in my time set. I don't enjoy the party if my thing left unfinished and keep thinking of it.

That's all my presentation. Everyone has their true fact, don't be ashamed to share, analyze yourself lead you to understand more. Identify your fact, analyze the truth and practice in your life. I believe everyone does has their own SWOT analysis.

My life with something about L.O.V.E

2011-03-18T14:26:00.004+08:00

Guess i'm falling in love, i reckon, there is something about love that i couldn't express in words in my past but it works in anyway round, it touch my deepest part of my heart now and tell me that is love. L.O.V E :)

I said before, Love is an emotion beyond our feeling. Embrace it and trust it, You are gonna love every second of missing the one you miss ! I know it is pathetic when you fall for someone who don’t have love on you

My life is happy now, i cognizant this, as Y.O.U around me, sparking my life with full of colorful love firecrackers.

I’m tending to be more looking at the bigger picture. I think from perspective views just to draw a perfect line in the middle for myself to not doing over, either less. So, i'll try my best to appreciate anything and everyone i have in life. I promise.. You know who you're :)

p/s: I believe we are born to love and being love ❣❣

My life with sorrowness

2011-02-20T13:16:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry, my post today will be so sad :(

I feel bad, seriously! This few months stresses me in its way, that i never know i could be. God, don't be too cruel to me.. *praying*

I have too many problems with me, and i couldn't find a way to release them out. I feel so paranoid, i easily frustrated lately and i started to not addressing any trust in everyone, even myself! What the fuck is this damnit feeling. I hate myself, i can't help but i do really hate for such a useless me.

My eyes welled up with tears yet i smile. This is the way i pretend myself, and i'm a good in it. I don't know if i do really cry, perhaps crying inside, only god knows of it.

I was saddened by all the things that happened to me recently :(

I need a lot of money, like seriously, for myself and for my family, that's all i can say! I feel so stupid, as other who same age with me are starting finding money by their own, but how about me?

I can't even help myself, what say my family??

My mind is vogue, i couldn't sleep well for the past weeks, i ever stayed up and sitting just to think of my problems, how to get it solved and ended up, i disappointed with myself.

I'm in mazed, life seems so hard and mercilessly requires me to go thru alot of barriers.

Sigh..... I'm so dead meat now, like a zombie without any emotion!

No body knows if fish is crying, as if nobody knows i'm sorrow inside. A smiling face doesn't mean i'm happy,

Cuz there is no point telling to peers and family members, if you know they can't give you any help.

I'm nt asking for sympathy, i'm just finding a medium to pour my feeling out ...

My life with leaving h.o.m.e

2011-02-12T11:39:00.001+08:00

Its me first time feel like blogging after such a long time being idle. I’m not lazy, okay! You have to believe this.

The past few days I have gotten to be the busiest so far throughout the year 2011. In a span of few weeks, I covered a Chinese new year (preparation and visiting), heading to a new environment (Subang) and busy moving in and all. In hindsight, my brain’s close to whacking, it’s kinda normal for me to bump into sleeping all time I guess, after my classes.

Owh ya, my first semester kicked of last month, I skipped three classes as I only came faculty late after cny. I have to admit this; I could hardly catch the class at first, hopefully everything turns better next week.

Back to the title. The title seems to explain my predicaments. Yeah, life here is kinda of difficult. Maybe it’s not that difficult, or maybe I just not yet adapt with it. Okay, let’s put this way, I have to walk all d way from my rental house to my campus under the sun, rain and all ; I have to face with different new faces and meet everything and everyone I not used to, there more to story about but for the moment I will be skipping and skipping my post. What make feel hurts d most is, I’ve discard my family, i stay outside alone without family. I miss home L Be serious, no joke (insert a VERY SERIOUS face to tell you how serious I am)

I sleep, I wake up, I off to campus, I have my meal, I have my Internet time. So I plain English, it’s just my routine after minus a companion of family but plus togetherness of friends.

I reckon one thing, that when we are away from something or someone, we tend to miss the thing and that person more than when we’re being together.

I have been truly exhausted by now probably, used up too much energy. Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m still young and steady. What’s most important thing now is to focus on my studies and be the best(try to).

I know I can make it, I used to be.

Your smiles can brighten any moment,
Your hugs put joy in all my days,
Your love will stay with me forever
And touch my life in precious ways...

H.O.M.E , a place like no other J

My life with missing you

2011-01-06T22:22:00.002+08:00

I don't feel like writing any feeling of mine at the moment here. Song describes my feel now. At last, i gave you a short greet and we chatted. It was only few sentences but............ I feel happy, i couldn't control myself from telling you .. : I kinda Miss You :

I miss you officially, seriously, frankly and badly ... Hope you sleep tight later!

Love is an emotion beyond our control, believe me !

p/s: This is my first time posting an Indo clip, cuz it really give impacts to my emotion :(

My life with New Year :)

2011-01-01T13:58:00.012+08:00

************************************************************************

First of all, i express my greatest gratitude to those who helped and held me up, giving me hopes and support as i walk along the journey of my life in 2010. Seriously, i have to say.

We can never staying alive alone, you need families, friends and few unknown persons

It took me to wake up such early in the morning, rolling on my bed as i came home late last night! Oh, no! It was this morning, i reached home. I can't imagine how time flies swiftly and inevitably fast and hey, i still remember vividly what had occurred last year. Sound weird, last year! With a blink of eyes, here i am done with a lot of things, i accomplished part of my 2010 wishes, i didn't feel disappointed for not being achieve all the wishes, they will be in my 2011 wish list.

I have a wish list for 2011, don't laugh! I know this would be like a primary student who gonna draft an essay like ' my dream' .. *lmao* I'm still young and precious after all !!!

♥) Get a healthy condition. Please listen Mr God, i don't want any injection, no. I feel pain whenever it injects into. I don't feel like taking medicines as if others eating candies. I want to be a healthy boy.
♥) Opportunity cost again! I'm still in dilemma in dealing with myself, either study for my degree or starting catching my dream. Degree is an option, but my dream is a chance. (You might get this puzzled right? I'll tell you one day what is my dream). I wish that, God can leads me a way, show me a path in selecting my road. I know, i'm a decision maker, but i feel so sixes and seven, always. Give me strength.
♥) Wish that my family and friends stay healthy and happy especially my beloved mom. Mum, i'm a typical Asian, i can only say, I LOVE YOU here. Be happy, do watching me and guiding me as possible as you can, be strong and stay healthy. Hugz :)
♥) If i choose to continues my degree ( completed the course), i wish everything going smooth and want to obtain first class result, to get exemption from paying back my study loan. Disappointed because Diploma result is not eligible to get exemption, i made mine at first class pointer :(

Only few wishes? Seriously yes as it covers part of my life, i guess. To stay healthy, happy and life passes by smoothly (I'm pretty sure this will not be so smooth, life has too many unpredictable and unexpected).

Remember no, we can never expect the unexpected.

Well, as i always say, i'm constantly finding ways to improve myself, i make mistakes, learnt from it and move on. There's pointless being solemn over it. And i'll be more friendly and build a better personalities, to everyone, i try (which i'm doing now). Treat people by the way they treated us isn't enough, we have to treat better! I'm cognizant that being close or even by knowing a person is already considered as gift. You make one extra friend, you less one enemy.

So anyone who views my blog, i will give my greatest appreciations to youlz for keep clicking in and read my words. Sharing is Caring :)

Venue: Most of people knows the location, cut it!

Time: My December 2010

Model: Blogger himself

My life with 2010

2010-12-24T12:33:00.007+08:00

January 2010

A new year started and everything restart. I spent a great and memorable X'mas in KL with someone special. I missed the moment, I used to miss every moment we spent. Thanks you love.

New semester started as well, that was my second semester. I ride through this month happily, as folk-say, person in love taste bit as sweet

February 2010

Chinese New year this year has fallen on Valentine day, 14th. Everyone blissfully celebrated their days with honor and promises. I failed in my relationship, had a saddest moment and yes, it was my darkest moment, where i tended hide my feeling inside.

March 2010

My studies went by smoothly, relationship did sadden me

alot but it didn't affect my studies. Lecturers are nice in a way, an interesting classes. Facebook buddy came over Kuching, was a nice meeting.

April 2010

My beloved mum had her birthday this month, I present nothing to her but i promised her to study smart for my studies.

Presentations month and final exam kicked off

Admitted to hospital again,

healthy started get worst, a sign of deterioration.

Also, finally i learnt who foes are, foes by MEAN

May 2010

Went to 'RETREAT' with course mates/ buddies, i had a blast there but food poisoning for almost week after came back.

Started to work as part time as salesperson.

Admitted 2 hospital, injection and meds again.

Missed my cabin crew walk-in interview,

i was so sick during the month.

I wasn't confident with myself and appearance

June 2010

New semester, happened to be my last semester (short semester- 7 weeks), Schedule was packed because everything needed to be done in short timeline.

Registration of MUET 2010

July 2010

Most packed throughout the year, loads of discussions and class replacements.

Presentations month, quizzes and revision weeks.

August 2010

Admitted to hospital, feeling sorrow why i'm weak! I have been putting my football watching for a while onward.

Exam month, nothing special happened this month.

September 2010

Passed all my subjects and attended my important event- Graduation day. My family

members were proud of me. Prom night took place, i made myself as one of performer.

Bought myself an expensive stuff, for cheering my first class

result

October 2010

Picked up a job- a tuition teacher, teaching add math and math. Being so tiring and busy

My birthday (11/10)- received a lot of gifts all the way from Indonesia, Singapore, Germany. And thanks to all my

buddies, for the celebrations and gifts.

MUET speaking test

Applied for Indonesia Scholarship.

November 2010

MUET exam

Went to Penisular, worked hard, in midds, met with a special person, nice personality.

It was just another ordinary month. Wake up- working- dining- sleeping

December 2010

Done with my registration for Degree, will be leaving Kuching for Studies for years.

Studying degree is actually what my family dream of, of course i hope to make them proud.

My life with T.H.I.S

2010-12-07T02:23:00.003+08:00

I was not believed in love at first sight at all before; I don’t really recognize it as a long lasting feeling that silent stores inside until the day you came across knocking me.

I am hypnotized, sorry. I am crushed on you without acknowledging you. Loving someone is easy , as your soul is connected with someone’s.

It is kind of attraction that evokes the feeling of love

It is kind of passion that awakes the beating of heart

It is kind of distraction that awaits the connecting of souls

World seems beautiful, sky looks super blue

With you stay beside me, at that moment.

Hey amazingly,

I’m searching for the valentine day’s idea if I could make up with you! How crazy, it is all of the fantasy. Guess I gone crazy over you

I get attracted to the physical being of a person that is you, it is said appearance does matter.

Your enchanting eyes

Your soft spoken

Your blissful smiles

Your impressed personalities

It is a stage of mind, when you come and knock the door of heart, of my heart J

I’m sure that I’m falling in love. Things look rainbow colored, so colorful, so happy mood, from the moments we met.

I saw star in the morning

I found moon in the evening

I scanned sky is blue at night

Is this called blindly in love?

I haven’t banged my head but feeling the compulsion of love. Life seems stop when I think of you.

I’m badly sad. We only met once, just an hour but my head spinning over you. How the meeting could drag me to this???

I starting to noted on your life and viewing profile all times.

I missed the moments, the precious hour. In the heavy rained evening.

I spent the leftover time just watching at you, afraid that we could not meet anymore. I knew I would never see you again, Maybe. This is cruel.

If I were given three minutes more, I would rather hug you tightly; stick your smell on me so I shall bring back your smell to my place.

I could not tell further, but I miss you seriously.

Love is a strong emotion beyond our control.

It can comes to you when you are in a crowded bus and sudden stared at a a person who walks at roadside, and get attracted.

I am a lucky one, cuz I feel the feeling so strong. Embrace it and trust it, You are gonna love every second of missing the one you miss even that person is not loving you! I know it is pathetic when you fall for someone who don’t have love on you.

Sorry :l

My life with disappointing

2010-12-03T11:47:00.000+08:00

I supposed to share this entry earlier, i've forgotten to click on ' publish' and it saved in my draft.

I am terribly disappointed with some stuff and person happen around me.

Frankly i said so, i could felt the sorrow which i've hidden it inside.
That sad and gasps accompanied my soul to grow all time, these while.
How i wish the soul and feel are not connected.

Vividly remembered, it was disappointed by devotion,
Is there anyone out there been this?

Guess you'll feel dilemma and helpless if u were in my shoe.

Something you love and someone you love

You failed to get the thing you want, and you also failed in catching the one you prefer.
Everything ended up blindly.
I ever feel hatred? Shall i act like the way it supposed to be?

I'm disappointed with the judgement.

Why there are no justice when the truth seem to be revealed but yet, it just didn't.

I'm disappointed with the commitment.

Why there are no closeness when the soul is already falling into but yet, it just failed to connect.

life is tied...

life is tired...

life is fired...

life is lied...

Okie, cut down all the disappointments

I still have few happiness that joy me up... Shall i feel more for these happiness?

Yes, everyone deserve to be happy regardless who they are.

My life with Misunderstanding

2010-10-16T23:03:00.000+08:00

If you are not able to zero down what has created unnecessary havoc in your life, relationship or business, then you might be forgetting a dreaded word called "Misunderstanding"
Seriously I hate being misunderstood and try to not let it occurs in my life time.

I hate it, it may create unnecessary problems.

I had one recently, a great misunderstood that nearly drag my friendship to heaven. Hmmm… I have no idea how to start with the story but I could vividly remember how I started to drop down some readable comment until it got catch and here we goes MISUNDERSTANDING happened. I had tried my best to confess and explained what I have written was not the actual mean, frankly to say, I don’t think I made any mistake.

Oh, to tell you, me myself don’t even know what was going on at that moment. But I have to swear that ‘ WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN WAS NOT WHAT I FEEL INSIDE ABOUT YOU’.

It was just a misunderstanding; the fault party should be the one who started with the status posting, and I don’t even know he was referring his status to one of my friend. Shit, I’m busybody as well!

A mistake is to commit a misunderstanding. Now I can clearly know this quote, by Bob Dylan.

I have to say, I did nothing wrong at all.

Only god knows my feeling as I wrote the words and it could not reflect what I think of you that were too superficially.

I have to conclude that the other person (I mean the one who started that BULLSHIT status) is indeed at fault. I understand that, the decision with the other person is the best thing to do because there might be the reasons and situations why the other person did what was done and listening to them will not be of any harm and rather be therapeutic for everyone involved.

How I wish, how I wish, the whole drill of the painful stories results in the better and improved relationship and understanding with some bonus of future learning of do's and don'ts. And all is well, when the end is well.

I’ve been burying myself to think of this issue. I am puzzled, because the one who t thinks should understand me well just does not act like the way I think. Sigh..

My life with saying Thanks

2010-08-31T20:17:00.004+08:00

Time flies like an arrow.. Guess what? I'm graduating soon :)

Yeppi...

For this month, I've been praying a lot. yeah, it was quite a lot in order i could graduate on time which i have set in the initial time.

I've so many things to do throughout the whole month. So yeah, apparently people keep to themselves when they're tired or so I've been told and plus nowadays i'm just busy. Couldn't tell you how busy i was during the past few weeks. Hehe..

Last few weeks has been pretty urgh? Nope, it was dramatic though. I shall nOt mention about it over gain and of course what's past is past, let bygone be bygone. Well, let's see let's see what i'm gonna type next.

Erm.... Obtained my last semester result (Thanksgiving). I passed all my subjects and thanks to my lecturers, and fellow friends who kept me company during those darkest moment and you guys will be remembered.

This is what i obtained this year:

Subject(s)

Organizational Behavior [ A ]

Introduction to Finance [ A ]

Business Research [ A ]

Occupational Safety and Health Act [ A ]

Personal Selling [ A ]

Business and Company Law [A ]

I've to thanks alot of people who holding me up and helped me alot, seriously yea. You know who you're.

Next month, i'm gonna attending my first Convo. Thanks someone for making me able to make it. Thanksss YOU, give me a hand when i was dismay.

p/s: Thank you, those who keep me company and my listener and YOU.

My life with Closer

2010-08-31T20:02:00.003+08:00

I think, A has becomes a very close friend of mine. Yes, at least this is what up to my mind. We can chat well, although A is busying with works, travels and all. Always being busy. I’m glad to have A in my life. We were starting friend this year, if I’m not mistaken.

Hey, this will be a very short post cuz I ain’t describe how I feel by wording, that is way too perfunctory. A is different from other, for me obviously. Something special. Hmmm…
Thanks to God, I atleast have one more extra people who meant a lot in my life. I feel peace when i'm talking and chatting with A.

I love you, for who you are and thanks for holding me up :)

We'll be closer and i'll remember you..

My life with Nobody

2010-08-08T21:04:00.004+08:00

I reckon something. God is fair! Yeah, he will gives you something but at the same time he won't give you another.
Yeah, i understand this since i was young just that i'm still .... (Whew, this is such a harsh way of starting things off) but why i used to be nobody or a puppet?

I'm always the one who dance Tango by my own. Hey, love is a connection game. :(

I am amazed when I listen to people, i'm really listen and look into it. Yet they're still complaining for the love life they're dealing with now. I'm pretty sure,or i should say I'M SURE they are so fuck off! The words they choose to interpret their life is simply teasing toward other (like me).

It is as though a plague has infested the human race, and I really have no idea where these thoughts have come from or how miserable life must be at times to think that way.

God don't present me LOADS of love, but instead, he gives me PLENTY of heart which could lead me to seek for LOADS MORE of love in future time, sooner or later.

We should live for ourself but not other. Wake up ...

I remember there is a person, hmm.. should be my secondary school teacher once told me,

''You'll deserve everything your heart desires just as others in the world does. If the thing is yours, it'll comes to you naturally.''

I tell you, it seems so oddball when someone tell you this. But it's way so TRUE.

Maybe i'm just a pastor of someone's life ; a character who use to cheer them up when they are down, a joker who makes them laugh when they are sad. I surrender with everything i have now. Nope, i'm not surrender but letting go.

I need to grow up and be mature. I'm 20.
I believe that, GOD is always fair, do give me strength, to ride through the darkest moment and get rid off that person from my messy mind. Tqq...

My life with taking a rest

2010-07-11T22:58:00.004+08:00

Am very stress lately.. it might be something to do with my academic but just very minor.

Oh ya, i'm doing my last semester now and yet, i hasn't make up my mind for continuing my degree in Kuching or else-where. I've been truly exhausted by this probably, used up too much energy... See, stress is kicking in but i'm smart. Hi, i never telling anyone i'm stress or under pressure and it doesn't mean i'm so disguise. Take it as your motivator then guys as there is no point for ranting your stress all out. You got my picture here? It pushes you go further and better in a way.. Finger crosses for any windfall in this semester then =)

Laughing is another alternative way to get yourself out of stress, yes it is. Friends can always make me grumpy crowd laughed a little when they started jokes. They're so garrulously. hehe.... =DD

*people who never smile can JEOPARDIZEs you and HI, it;s a silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous person and notion. In plain english, SUCK PEOPLE!!!*

I'm still in my labyrinth, ain't tell you where i stucking in actually but i'm finding way out. Give me some days, or probably months. It takes awhile for me to get it up and running. I don't want to be a puppet, i can hold my life now, right? hmmm... I can have a great indulgence of myself, yeahhh !!!

[ Frente- Bizarre Love Triangle], the song i listen repetitively today. It cheered me when i was demoralized but it makes my heart drop deeper in the other way round. Hmm.. how am i going to get rid off the song and the person???? My mind is sooo vague at the moment la.. :(

Awww....

See, i'm always trying to like my life in the most positive way that i can. Time seems to be flying by, it's July now. Oh, my birthday is three more months. See, how positive am i???? What say you? I'm not taking flummery ya..... hehe

*hinting hinting while biting finger*

p/s: Resting doesn't mean i'm totally tired and give up, but to recharge for next journey ...

My life with result(s

2010-06-29T09:45:00.000+08:00

Well, i'm here again to post own result n i'm not show off :)

As usual i'm posting my result(s) just a way to let myself feel proud and motivate in next round. Don't get me wrong .. *raised eyebrows*

Broadly speaking, this post is only to do with my academic .. so, not much stories can be read here.. hehe =DD

Congrat to Mr Gazy Jong...

*boyish smiles

My life with take it or leave it ??

2010-05-04T17:39:00.004+08:00

*knock² *

See, finally I'm here... I feel so sorry as i created this blog and yet, I'm neglecting it for quite awhile.

Which left me with little in the way of distractions, i gonna finish my studies in my hometown amazingly. Time flies like an arrow and this make my excitement increase exponentially as i'll staring my next journey very soon. I realized the probable cause, no one else was as aware of my studies as i always as. *winks*

Future is in my hand. I keep on dreaming my future now and then. I bet youols out there doing the same, as stupid as me urgh? Maybe some are dreaming of them become a model and cat-walking on a fashion show; Or imagining to become a pilot who drives the plane.

I gotta redefinition my setting now. I start to worry of my future job typically. I'm constantly finding way to improve myself, i make mistakes, learn from it and move on. Hi guys, there's pointless being solemn over it no?

M.U.E.T - I'm gonna take d test this year and yeah, it's a compulsory test for those who intent to get into local Uni. You as why?? I crave to study in local Uni, i wonder why. Haha... Maybe i have the requirements ..? It is one of my family's will as well.

Broadly speaking, i shall be glad as i have the probability to make myself into local U but i'm kind of dilemma. Mind you, I'm the only son accompanying my parents and i don't feel like leaving them lonely while I'm studying so far. Family problems now aggravating my will.Having difficulty to make the decision =(

But then, studying degree isn't what i really covet frankly to say. Soriiiii. But what i wanted to do always being discarded. It's really drag people crazy as sometimes to get what we like the most is quite difficult and by the time the thing is in your hand, but it maybe won't be the thing we want or like the most...' Sigh

You get my picture? I'm in an appalling predicament now... *muse*
I'm lurching around in a daze, being so taciturn because I'm fatigued and badly in need of good decision... Is there anyone out there able to facilitate me,helping to dislodge the puzzling thought in my brain!! So chaotic...

Mark my word:

-There're always consequences in life to make it balance. If you choose beauty, you'll get less the function and benefit; if you choose function and benefit, you can only own a normal physical appearance -

I reckon there must be someone out there understand what i mean here =)

I'm in maze now.. :(
because the darkest crowd overwhelm my sunshine...

I need a comic ... :(
because the smile on my face doesn't mean smile in my heart...

I wait for meteor... :(
because it could make thing turn out miraculously...

o(╥﹏╥)o

-Crossroad -

My life with Morbid

2010-03-05T20:58:00.007+08:00

Yeah... my second last semester is on drama now and i'm as busy as a bee. This semester is slightly poles apart from the previous.

Assignments happen to be the first rank in my studies. Presentations and mid-terms and all. Group assignments are really drag me to hell. Isn't that i don't like but ya, you know what i feel once you experiencing my experience. I'm fucking pissed off with my member. Member suppose to corporate isn't it? Where is the participation ??

Urgh.. thing could go out from hand. I'm ranting here but at least when you wanna have a group, show me the will that you're really want to be in the particular forum and assign own work. I try to find peace, yes i am. Everything around me seems to be so unstable and sixes/ sevens. Geeezzz....

I did tried. I attempt to help and concern and follow up and all.. But what the shit feedbacks i got in return!!!!!!!! The excruciating disappointment of knowing someone never appreciate you tends to pull you out from the circle. Nah, i'm not being stupid and hit you with all the tartness word but you're not a kid. You should know what ur task and MY LIMIT!

Reflect yourself K. I don't really want chanted with my member and yet,it is mess. Oh, it's pointless complaining here and ranting and griping as it won't get my problem solved. Right Mr member??

I don't want thing pour out and we run out from the circle, it might make me ponder about the friendship...

Leader doesn't mean we do all the thing and lead the project on his own. This is so wrong!

p/s: i realized that this is just a morbid of you.. Playing online game, Copy and paste or you just straight cut it to your assignment. *sad face* . i wish you luck and pass your subject with FLYING COLOUR. Best of LUCK! Maybe i'll be fine and smile with you, but change your attitude la fucking.

My life with 10' s Valentine

2010-02-14T18:05:00.003+08:00

My life with lifestyle

2010-01-19T14:36:00.006+08:00

I thought i could, but then, i failed. Hmm.. Nonetheless, i had really tried my best to hit the thing i wanted and the outcomes wasn't bad, or it was excellent as my friend all greet me, i just don't feel proud of it. It somehow , a disappointment for me. Nah, i'm not exaggerating. It brings impact... I'm never feel so happy in deep, or if i do smile, it just a smile. Just a smile. I always crave for the best and would like to be the top. I have a high self-expectation. I'm pretty much busy preoccupying with my assignments. People once called im a nerd, so what? Its my life, how are you going to music it? bastard!! I ain't to achieve first class for my previous semester. 3,73 isn't reach it yet. Gonna moan for it.

''I've been putting off my football watching for awhile now, maybe its one of the route to drive myself be more concentrated on studies. Even myself, feel kinda flabbergasted as i choose to read book more than watching.. ''

Glad that my circle of friend getting expanding and ya, i've lots of friend. But those that i really trust always be little. It ain't easy opening up to people that you think you know, but end up getting knife in the back of you. Can you get my picture? Try ya, if one day in future u experience betraying by any one of ur closet, you'll definitely think that, my statement is kinda true. I couldn't bring myself to hate a person easily but i'm still have my limit, once you beyond it, you'll gonna paid off. I don't have intention to blame anyone , but frankly my feeling and the way i treat them will change , who was betraying me anyway. Don't misjudge me, i'm no longer Mr. nice. I tend to be more protective lately and sensitive. Beware, nonentity!

In my life, i hardly regret for whatever i've done and i know exactly how its going to be like if i do regret. For sure, some unexpected will be grouped out of the field. Weols here can never expect the unexpected urgh..? Right? Many of dramatic happened and yet, i still close one eye. Lifestyle really changes, yes. No doubt, stress is kicking in.

My life is happy now, i cognizant this, because i still able to choose who to be friend with and what to eat.. what to wear.. freedom is in my hand. Everything can be utterly complicated at time , it depends on how we see them through our naked eyes, isn't it? Lol... Since talking is the most effective and easiest method to alleviate boredom from aggravating, I'll talk more and blog more.. Lifestyle changing all the time as if a coaster, its ambiguous and unclear, we're all here living on earth, wish to learn more, bit by bit, day by day.. we live, so we learn and we love...

Yes, i miss you more than before involuntarily... love ya =(

My life with new year

2010-01-01T12:56:00.004+08:00

Nah.. it a new year, a new brand but then, for me it is just an ordinary day next to d previous day. Well, people might countdown crazily during so does me.. hehe... was being crazy frog hatin d so-called big day.. I don't have any high hopes for my new year, am just set an expectation... I tend to be more random.. hopefully, d more we crave and once we fail to make it, hurts so much ya frankly i said. My 2009's wishes.. Major part of it have been accomplished and i was happy..*paid off* as i could achieved some that really draw me smile, but there are always a contrast.. Some wishes are still remain as a wish.. means i failed to hit it.... *stop swell on it*

Hehe.. i still wish la anyway.

I wish i could behave myself than before and be a healthy boy.. self-regard person, keep making my results with a flying colour *my parent will feel proud* , be a top student and longed everything run smoothly -at least, my family.... my friends... 2009 wasn't bad. Yeah, true la. It hasn't drag me to hell, just half-hell... LMAO

Anyway, some stupid are just simply entered my life in d past and mostly messed up my life but, i managed to kick them out.. Thx god. I'd rather save energy than waste them by talking to those who imbeciles .. cacat, understand??? Sometimes we're just saddened by people's attitude shown.. pissed me off !! So in plain english, they are stupid people.. it was silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous humans.

Meanwhile, there is a thing whereby keep giving delusive to me.. By the time i realised that i need it so much, the thing just gone away..unable to round on with it.. Okie, maybe it was a beautiful butterfly of my life..

New yeat, as if a new day.. we still wake up and shower and tidy our bed and doing routines.. Nothing much change.. Take it as a normal day... it is my respective view of a day..

For very sure, my life is quite full of happiness now and what the light there was seemed to be radiating from someone who happens to be so important in my life.. Thanks....

Nothing gonna change, I'm still me. Just that, my obligations add in and backpack of mine getting heavier =)

My life with Relaxing....

2009-12-16T12:06:00.007+08:00

See the picture above? yeah... i honestly like the landscape, feel so peace whenever i stare at the sky and sea.. I love BEACH !!

Well... Am able to relax myself, after all. My final was over and yeah, i dump myself in holiday mode now... I've been truly exhausted probably my restless weeks, used up too many energy, but no worries as i'm charging myself fully now before i start do my lesson again. Ahoho, i practically did nothing other than sleep, eat, read and whole bunch of NOTHING.. Urgh... Just done one book.. Oh, i took 3 months to finish reading a book.. How time consumed har..? hehe.. Nah, i'm not exaggerating.

Have plenty things to do throughout the semester, people keep saying how busy they were and all or so i've been told. Okie, i got what you guys mean. was bombarded lots of stuff. We're here to busy aren't we? Imagine of those busy-ness really kills my brain cells... better don't !

I HATE MY COLLEGE!!!!!! STUPID COLLEGE, never thinks of student's right.. It happens to be now i can't choose my major ANYMORE!!! *middle finger*

Oh ya... see, this is my new appearance of blog. Sigh, thats all i could make for my pity baby blog, i'm not talented in doing this. It took me 24 hours to repair my blog's face. I was just paint it with the light color and hopes the color could make my readers reading happily.. Hi mind you, color is an important element to cheer a person.. *raise eyebrows*

So random now, just typing as my heart tells. Lol.. ;-)

Relax? No way, there are many things come simultaneously and continuously.
FYI, i'm looking forward to step out from my staying area and walking out here, get more environment. Hehe..

p/s: There is an accusation of the small matter, that turns into a massive fight. Where is d trusty? I'm sick of it. It makes me taken back whenever i try to picture it.. awww, how bad it feels.

My life with trusty

2009-12-02T14:28:00.005+08:00

We all keep saying, trusty is important to link people and now i realized that, it is kinda hard to establish.. To be frank, u gotta believe it. Trust is an expectation that another party will not allow you to be harmed at a time when you are vulnerable. Your willingness to trust another party is affected by your history with that party and your personality.Yes, i do agree. But then, i wonder how to make people trust me, fully ;-(

Is there anyone out there know what is sympathetic division? Its when the nervous system prepares you for stressful situation and mainly it lower down your metabolism rate, and make you more alert. Yeah, this is what i feeling now.. I'm tired. Please come clean to me, my brain is in a mash ald.

One said, when trust has been violated in an important relationship, it should be repaired. But then, its not as easy as that and I'm tired to make one's believe me anymore, after all. I've out of idea, to persuade other put the trust in me.

Ooh.... No, it should comes naturally without any pre-effort. No point, if we keep on debating just to draw back a circle line if it doesn't look like round shape. Yeah, have to agree in which, building trust in relationships need considerable effort, commitment and time.

I've plenty of time, but how may hours i can give? It remains as a question... Bring out an issue. The issue isn't whether or not people have negative emotions about changing, it's how people deal with them. Build a knowledge of how to established trusty have many representing ways and skills. Maybe i use the wrong one or.

I've no alternative to help myself.. or maybe I've given up. I'm trying, often in my days... I'm just silent with many combination of thoughts and efforts,but who know? Who can read a boy's mind?

And its nice to know when someone doesn't trust you anymore.. LOL

My life with i'm back

2009-11-17T18:09:00.007+08:00

Nah,this will bea long long post =)

It comes to the corner, for us to greet goodbye to 2009 and hugs the coming of a new year. Just wait. One more month and the calendar will come to its end.

Time flies like an arrow, leaving fast without knowing by us. I have to admit it and I’m now 19, maturity is obviously, should have. Yeah, I’m no longer an under-aged guy. I can step in club officially and legally. Few more days will be the starting of my finals… a nightmare? No... I just can’t wait to finish my entire exam and I can take a breath… I always can’t wait for my exam, typical me. Don’t you heard before, the longer we wait, the more nervous we are. So, just do it. It has been my pandemic.

On my studies… I believe that, I have tried my very best. I’m kind of greedy when it comes to studies since I was secondary 4. I crave for top, always going up to higher rank. People say I’m crazy, because those who said it were normally the last. Haha… I accomplished what I wanted, I guess, oh... but still disappointed with minor of them… quite disappointed. I used to start and start earlier than other, no no no, I don’t found any problem here… I’m the first mover, remember? So, I tend to be more alert. Is it alert? Or I’m kiasu kind? Whatever, u ain’t marking my life…

While, my circle of friend remain d same anyway. My college friends and some Malay friends, forget to tell, i've some happened to be my friend but they are racist. *kicked* Cant blame them, not my stuff. Well, I’m not that choosy when it comes to making friend as long as you really treat me as friend. Im ok with it... But please don’t expect too much from me. I’m no longer a Mr. nice like I did before. I can picture some in my mind, where it’s pointless to treat people nicely even you know they just take you as so-so friend. It tasted awful and I won’t like a fool, never. I’m so protective toward myself ever since. I’m easy to approach no doubt, but you got me no point I tell you even once my friends told, I’m too hard for them to study, because I choose who to tell and keep. I’m smart in this. But for sure, I know who can be my true friend and who can be my friend. As simple as that, easy thing to get in mind. Not to forget, i love all my bloggers. You know who you are.. looking forward to meet uols, Thx for being such concern and friendly =)

My family? Too many things to catch up and this year isn’t a luck year for my family I would say. Calamities keep flooding over… anyhow, everything was past, and we still managed to curve it with a cover page. Nothing much to link..

Good news for myself, I become brighter than my previous year. I smiles more than last year, maybe there was some interludes, bringing me sweet and happy memories. I will never forget, it will be always sweet memories for me, either sad or happy, still it is a memory. Thanks… for those who taught me the meaning of love, the dentition of tender and the acts of caring. You’ll always with me no matter what…. *winked*

Sure, I have my sadness month as well. There is no-one, who manage to act happy throughout the whole year. Human being builds up with feeling also… I was saddened by something bad… It somehow brings me to the abyss, felt like I was in an appalling predicament. Feels helpless... Nobody give me a hand at the moment, because I never tell anyone. Oh no, I told some about my stories and glad to have them, to be with me, ride though all the sadness day. I’m tired , to be an actor for movie call life. We can disguise no doubt, but we can never fool our self. So, you can never know a 19 years old boy might cry like baby. Life had implied me plenty of stuff and the tone of life somehow not understandable, resulted in me lost too many thing one go. See, how silly life is and morbid to entertain people like fool…

Robert Frost once said, keep the sweetest moments we ever had and make sure we remember the happy period of time but, we should keep those are bad as well, study them and be friend with them… don’t threw those sad memory away, the more you want to forget, the harder you are.

Yap, I personally agree with it. So, I choose to remember instead of forget, store in the deepest part of me. Because we can never erase the things that happened in life, or we’ll live in heartless life, it happens every time when we recall back the whole accident. The sight of those things gives me so many emotions, mostly sadness but also happiness. Sometime sweet and happy memories might give a sad impact to emotion. Believe me, I trust it!

I’m tending to be more looking at the bigger picture. I think from perspective views just to draw a perfect line in the middle for myself to not doing over, either less. Don’t always go for minor but major also. LIFE is easy but it isn’t as simple as we thought. Never, we need to commit so many many with life. So, I view life from different aspects now, wider our view, the bigger landscape will be snapped, the more experience we gather, it paid off in the end. I like to take an unusual route. I don’t like following, I walk by my own.

Wow, my hand is getting tired. It is a lot man.. Okie, I’m just too many feeling want to spray out before I start my exam and my blog will be quite silent for a month time. I take this opportunity to blog more, to pen more…

I need fresh air to breathe in. I need new environment, for awhile to restart my brain setting before I dump back to my college in new semester… My entire semester was dragging me to hell but I love the schedule, it was packed. It filled every minute of mine. I was so busy, this is undoubtedly inevitable but yet happy.

My life with last sem of 2nd year..

2009-10-25T22:32:00.000+08:00

*Production Management

*Management Accounting

*Company Law

*Business Strategy

*Malaysian studies

*Business Mathematics

*English for Business

*Computing Essentials

*Business Communication

*Study and Writing skills

p/s: Midterms... quizzes.. tutorials.. presentations....

I don't expect much this semester but i try to gain the highest... This is what i promise to myself!!

My time is so pack... lol

My life with them...

2009-10-16T22:29:00.000+08:00

Hi.. I’m back to this atmosphere again to pen down my words- translating them into readable sentences. Was so busy lately… busying with my college works like hell man, it was really a silent killer. Aiks, too serious la !! anyway, I’m able to breathe away now. At least, I stop for awhile to blog something here.

Yap, my birthday was pretty nice and I’m officially 19 now. Maybe it still regards as young but maturity and responsibility should be built, to develop myself into a better boy. Thanks i say to my friends for celebrating my birthday and gifts, love ya. And, not to forget friends from friendster, facebook and tagged… Oops, how could I forgotten, my beloved readers here. Thanks for the wished. Haha...

This is my first year, where I’ve received my presents and gifts more than 15 items. Lol… Books, tees, shorts, food, case, stationary, shoes, toys, snoopies, belt, chocolate (my favorite) and perfume. See, it was great and the atmosphere was simply joyful and nice. *like*

Nothing from my parents, feel weird? It was okie for me, I never expects them to give me anything since I have their tenderness all this while, thats enough! My mom, talked to me,during my birthday night… hmmm, ya, I could still recall back what she had said to me vividly. Just had my mother-to-son talk with her. I was touched yet I still acted like nothing happened. My parents didn’t buy me anything as once I told them I wanted to have a new cell phone or I craved for a new watch… It doesn’t affect me at all because I clearly know myself, it was only my jokes that simply came out myself.

They cooked the meal I love the most, I know it was already my gift they tried to give me and I have to accept the fact- we are not from rich background.

Mom, don’t worry, I would never ask for a luxury life like other did because, I have my consideration and I’m no longer a kid. I have my own life criteria that guide myself, it as if a mirror, to reflect the real me front of me, to differentiate with another kid. I don’t ask much but caring me until the end of day.

God treats me well enough...

You both give me life, and I appreciate it. This Love will carry me through all the hardship’s that life has to offer. It is a love that is freely given and never taken back. It is a part of urs that has given me your looks, that somewhat awkward smile, the essence of life itself... I try my best to make my parents feel loved, although I’m not always sign letters to them with my love but deep inside, I do really love just that the trend makes me feel so weird if I say ‘ I love you’ to them. Haha…

Yes, I have to admit that i got into a heated argument with my parents, and it resulted in them saying that they wish they never had us. I was kinda mad in a way but once I think the issue in return, they will be the one who hurts the most as they guiding us like baby until now and yet, we are still like BABY, never acts like the better one. They were both failing as a parent, they are investing in me their very best, and sure I had no doubt that they truly care of me.

Thx….

p/s: Anyhow, my wishes still not come true yet or it'll never come =((

My life with birthday

2009-10-10T14:42:00.004+08:00

Hi there all my readers...
I'll turns 19 officially by tomorrow, its an additional. I wish myself happy birthday in advance...
I used to have plenty of hopes and wishes in previous. I'm greedy in craving, can't help tho. But i cant seem to give much to myself this year... or i just afraid of lost... High expectations always taste awful in the end. Anyway, I'll be more responsible to myself and to be a better man... for myself, for my family, for my friend, for my future and you....

My life with you

2009-10-08T13:20:00.003+08:00

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love, i know what it feels-to be frank, its really a silent killer that separate your mind and your body itself.. Beyond your control, everything popping out here and there never rest even when we are asleep, you know why? Urgh, they will always come to your dreamland, think too much!! Sigh, I'm just wonder.. wonder why i don't have these all feeling during my first relationship? Is it means i was not really in love with my first or it was a puppy love... The whole world seems depopulated, when someone is missing. Isn't a sin for making people miss a you such deep, there are no true and false but the degree of love you invest in your love will do.

I like you from the first day I saw your beutiful eyes.
I admire you from the second time i saw your blissful smiles.
I miss you from the third week we shaked hand and so-called held.
I think of you from the fith time you sat besides me.
And now,
I love you from the first time you made my heart beat so fast and made me blushing...

I couldn’t let know;
how many love i give to you,
how damn am i missing you,
how deep is my feeling toward you, how big is my heart for you,
how much is my tenderness i post to you,

but I'll be the one who will never move away from your sight,
as long as I'm still have the will to do so...
You can easily found me whenever you're not doing well..

My life with relationship

2009-09-27T12:26:00.006+08:00

I'm sorry for not updating my blog quite awhile.. Was busying myself in many many matter- or i'm just trying to find something to distract myself. I guess i've failed to do so as everything still, in sixes and sevens.

It’s never easy when a relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether or not you wanted it – the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. Hiding our self in room, wet our pillow or blanket by crying all the time, woke up suddenly in the midnight whenever dream of them, and again a sleepless day after it. As my friend once told, everything things that have happened or potentially happen are all the way, setting by God. Its so called providence. I don't bother to learn it and i trust myself more. I trust God as well, in another way, different angle.

I'll always ask myself, Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? I still cant give myself a clear answer. Those questions are not registered well in my mind. Maybe i never think of it? No... i think but it'll be a question which remains no answer still, as love makes us blind. We cant evaluate- which one is bad or good by the time you've falling in love, everything is nice in your eyes i would say.

I read a post in newspaper today, an article pointed out breakup is painful because it means we loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams,commitments and communication but i really don't get it much, or I've my own explanation for the title. Yes, it might be correct but not for me.

Hmm... A breakup brings unclear about the future, the day after day- tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow. What will life be like without our love one, life still going as usual but we do feel so lonely, empty, so lost or some might feel angry or anxious if they are the heartbroken. But for me, somehow i try to not angry or hate that someone who had broken my heart, instead I'll take it as a lesson of my life, a tutorial for my future preparation, to love again or being love, once again. Pointless to hate that someone who you used to love before, the one you miss everyday or the one who sweet to you, I'll be a great loser. Dont !!!

I realised the fact, which is two person used to be a couple before would never be friend any longer as they hate each and other. Hmmm...This time, i get it. i can understand the scenario anywhere if there are really problem occurs by the time or the way the ended up the relationship. So, the way you saying goodbye to your relationship(partner) is kind of studies, a lesson which is waiting for us , to discovey, to study, to acknowledge how important is it.

I urged, never treat your partner like a toy or substitution. Or else you'll be cursed untill the day you die. And this will be another issue in whilst.

Try to love them more before you know the love is gonna over, be good and try to use a light tone when you feels like ending up a relationship. Reason(s) should be clear and understandable by your partner. 1 changing to 2, that brings significant definition to us. People are sensitive. So we should have a good consideration- to make people sense that you got the heart implement any single thing...

We live, we life, we lark, we laugh but remember we love(in relationship side).
Love is a big thing, after family and career and studies.

I believe we are born to love and being love,
We might meet calamities, blocker or hacker in my jouney but as long as you willing to ride though, you'll reach the destination you craves before. Live always make delusive, we cant help much because its call life. Problem will keep on kicking in, just shift the way you are, to make the road ahead clear. Its all depends on you. Life takes a turn unexpectely, we gonna lean how to guide ourself.

My life with themeless

2009-09-15T22:03:00.006+08:00

=============================================================

I'm here again to post my daynews. Should i say HI? Aiks, apparently.

It's been quite awhile i didn't write any news here. Not that I've nothing to say but I've limited time and I've no intend to post. I hate cracking my head to blog while my mind is not on my desk. Its pretty bad to force myself. What a life? Interesting eh? LOL. See, so fake!!!

Everyday, all the way fills by hectic and exhaustion. Hmm.. shouldn't sounds it as if I'm the only one burying in work all the time, perhaps somebody outside even worst than me. And now I'm typing here is following what my mind can catch up so it'll be quite random and themeless.

I'm so bad temper nowadays and easily frustrated. I've no idea why. Easy to get mad, thinks I'm crazy. Mind is somehow at six and sevens. Sigh, what medicine should i takes to get rid all of these pandemic of mine? I straight off to bed after class and sleep like there're no tomorrow these few days. I'm just feels so tired. Sometime i throws question to myself as why i just insisted to sleep earlier everyday so that i can be sooo energetic in the next day, my head is still generating the answer. I stays up late frequently-almost everyday, I just cant sleep.

Everyday seems a typical for me. Doing the same thing in the same time- perhaps things get done by the EXACTLY same timing. Guess what? Boring life it calls.

How am i supposes to formulate my schedule? I'm so busying with my family stuff, my college stuff and so on... Guess i had fully utilize me time in the pass days but it was not as nice as i thought especially these few days.

I'm so welcoming by Emo. I feels happy and enjoyed when i was with my friends, went for movies or ktv or dinning or gym recently but so suck my bad feels hit me back when I'm all alone. I used to smile everyday and jokes all i want but............ (stop). So sad to tell but its too true to be told. Paranoid swept over me again. I'm just feel that why i always flooded by these kind of stuff. I was trying to dislodge all my fucking stuff in my head- a feeling of suspicion. But HOW? I mused but tongue-tied again. Trying to picture out what have happened recently- and Omgosh, it was a lot man. But its better to keep all inside. Everything of it can be a HEADLINE. You wouldn't gear how crazy it sounded right-?

Also I'm not feeling well since Friday but i lazy to tell-or nothing to catch up much. Just my own business. People would never bother to know more about it.
I want to hid everything because they are not proud to let know and i have no intend to do so. Mean. Please... is there anyone out there able to etch my mind? I'll pay you if you really do it for me =)

*Sidetracked*

College works isn't that tough as i thought or maybe I've been trained before how to respond with different scenarios. Anyhow, things happened beyond my control limit as well, so sad right? What can i do further? Moan lo.
Assignments are in my hand now, I'm starting dump myself in assignment mood since last week. I wants all the things get done before the date. I hate last minute ald. I know it'll never generates any quality work. Its undoubtedly inevitable guys.

I craves for a nice trip probably only myself, be a backpacking just for a week time and travel around within peninsular(cheaper ma). Perhaps after my exam.. I really need it as I'm so boring in a way staying here... Fucking Boring =FORING.

As I'm typing now, my body has hints me that I'm on the periphery to get sick. I just know. I keep on drinking water.... I don't wanna get sickness now.

Also, i really miss my someone. Please don't ask who is the one. It'll always remains as a secret. I smile when i got their texts. But i don't smiles much these two weeks. I've run out of idea to entertain myself, to draw a smile face at my face. My mind is vague.

p/s: miss you =)

My life with forgetting the pass

2009-09-05T14:12:00.005+08:00

======================================================
I also have my history, my pass life or the time i went through last 18 years. It consists of sweet and sour stuff and when i says i don't know how to respond because it seems completely ridiculous. We're human being who cannot makes everything perfect. Me too. I've my ability limit as well.

The longest relationship i have accomplished was one year. I guess so. I loved this girl almost nine years. No further detail here, am not love story telling now. Surely, for the past few years it hasn't been easy to me. (randomness)

We burying our self in many many works whenever we're sad, still it cannot distract us sometimes. Anyway, a couple of days later, and it was still playing on my mind. I've been really patient with this when the subject is brought up and i try to be comforting reminding myself to not fool myself again. I'm the decision maker,whether to forget or not but the thing seems like to hang around and hit you back when you're doing alone. Sigh!

Somehow, i found out there is a contradiction here when one wise person once said,

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"

**Funny right?? So forget or remember? How to respond??
======================================================

One of my friend asked me through facebook, how was i get rid from my broken relationship. Its been half year ago and now i have the answer for her.

'' Once you've fallen in a new relationship or when you sense a feeling of love, you'll forget your ex. I cant promise it'll clearly remove from your life,cuz they're the person who had created memories with you either sweet- or bad but still, its a memory. We could never erase our mindset.''

And now, which left me with little way of distractions, I've forgotten my X relationship.

Forgetting the pass and now I've new life.

I need love.. I'm demanding love i need someone who take care of me or i can take care of. And i found one who is potentially...We always get things out into the open and discuss them.

I realize everyone has history, and it should stay in the past where it belongs, but sometimes when it pops into my mind briefly, its hard to get rid of the thought. I know that it may be because its still quite fresh in my mind, as its only a few weeks ago that I was told all this, and I've noticed that it is fading away gradually, but I just want to help it along the way and put it aside.

I like the words in this song, melts heart.

''If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star''

NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

(Chorus 1)
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

(Chorus 2)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

(Chorus 3)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

-love ya-

My life with tiredness

2009-08-27T02:29:00.001+08:00

Today, my mind is busy, is tired !!!

My life with short post

2009-08-26T12:28:00.003+08:00

First and foremost,thanks myself to pass all d subjects.

New semester started last last week. I was pissed off with my college's POOR management. Sigh, nothing more left to rate here. It would never shift the way they running worksssss.

Oh ya, my results. Its not as nice as i thought before i would say. *preposterous* My current GPA is 3.6 if im not mistaken since i am strictly not allowed to take my result slip (Loan student) by now. Still, keep my finger crossed for my another paper which is Moral could make me cheer up abit. Atleast!!! I'm GREEDY. Again, my friends give me a call indicated and expressed how happy were them once they received the results and greet me (obviously mine is better than them) but yet, im still so down probably last 2days. I have no idea with myself. Typical me.

I took five subjs this semester, its a long sem. I craves to complete my diploma as soon as possible.
-Management Accounting
-Production Management
-Business Strategy
-Company Law
-Malaysian Studies

Erm... my scedule isn't that pack and i still manage to breath away in between.

Stop with my college stuff... Its boring !

I found out my immune system has drastically dropped to a critical level, i always get sick. Flu in d midnight or suddenly headache. Gonna take more care !

Life with who love the more...

2009-08-15T12:22:00.007+08:00

Halo Gazy, noon!
i said to myself...

I've been thinking lately perhaps in the midnight. Thing seems used to pop in-out through my mind, you'll never stop ur brain not to think what gonna emerges in ur mind,At all!!

=You know what you should do? Pick the one that loves you and you're totally not into, because you will learn to love them and they treat you like a precious thing for the rest of your life. =

Honestly i say, i'm not. I always love the most. Plus, i wont click with anyone who i'm totally not into !!

This is the issue recently conquers and blocking my thinking as i tried hard not to think but still, its a issue that weols might face one day or its occurring in life.

Have you ever think-if you did something but someone never know and you'll never told them what you've done for them?

Have you ever get mad- but you'll never speak it out because you care of their feeling or just worried they might think that you're so childish, lack of flexibility?

Have you ever think of wanna gain more spending time with them but you're tongue-tied to ask for it?

Have you ever thinks if you love too much, you give too much, you care too much, you protect too much but in the end, YOU are the only one??

''Life- as if a hotel. People keep on checking in and out in our life. Can we really find a fixed one who willing to stay longer? ''

Why?? Are they feel boring?
I can't sense if people get bored of me, its apparently out of my control range. The best i can try just --, do the best for myself and try my best to love my life, to love the one i love.

Thts all i can do, isn't it? I'm a human who have feeling but I'll never packaging myself like a perfect prince, dress up myself as if rich guy, in fact I'm not!

I love my life, cuz my life have you...

My life with Life

2009-08-13T10:57:00.004+08:00

Last week has been pretty dramatic to me. Can't tell uols because i don't know how miraculously and melodramatic it was, because they all happened all out of sudden.

Well, come back to the topic now.

For me, I've been assigning by god to a not-so-rich family, just average but I've nothing to say. Thts call FATE. Right?? Haiz... never have an intention to blame anyone, my parents - i believe they dont want these all, either. They raised me up and turned me into a healthy kid.

And, i deeply believe - there are consequences in life to make it balance. Just take one example here. If you choose pretty or beauty,you will get less the richness, knowledge ; if you choose knowledge, you only can get a normal physical look. This is fairness call. Maybe someone out there will know what i'm trying to link up. Tell you, our life happens rhythmically. No one can be presumptuous. Its a prescript that had set.

''I'm so proud with myself, GOD present me Knowledge and Happiness''

Thts life, we can't be a perfect person because there are no one is. I envy some of my rich friends, they use the best - they dress the gorgeously - they eat those delicious and surely they spend the most. I ever whimsically, purposely click with rich guy and gurl, ya- to get advantages on them but i never. Its a sin, wicked enough. I've go through so many things in my pass life, variety of tastes.

Willy-nilly, i still need to run my life. Down-to-earth is a strategy of my life, a formula to implement my things although there are a small group of human who are exorbitantly realistic. Feeling hellish with those HUMANS. You guys are low brow. Lol =)

When i was still young in school, i kept mention to anyone that someday i will be an accountant But as the time goes on, i don't feels like being accountant is the one I'm into so. Sigh. I've a new target now and always, but it just that on the periphery- never within reach or maybe d timing haven't clicking in.

I eager to be an adult when i was young but so far, I'm still like a small boy although i'm 19. My mindset, my thinking. Somehow, someone transform me.. inspires me indeed- into a more rational and yet still childlike. Haha...

My life went by smoothly in the pass if deducted my heartbroken period and some disappointment which flooded through me. My life is still running fine so far, i guess. And there are seem to be radiating by my family, my friends around me, someone important in mylife......!

Bby =)

My life with missing you

2009-08-09T00:13:00.004+08:00

Well, i'm sitting on my bed but David Cook's song on the another tab is playing, and my mind now is full of you. I cant seems to find a way to remove my sickness. But, mind,keep on picture ur face, figure ur smiles....

A couple relationships may be the most important in your life. It is often the main relationship in people's lives; it is the basis of a family and this is the place where most of us learn about love, commitment, communication, negotiation and compromise.

Sometime, to get what you're like the most is quite difficult and by the time, the thing is in your hand, but it maybe wont be the thing you wants the most. Life is kinda melodramatic.

Its weird but yet i'm still waiting and craving for what i wanted!

I'm puzzled, i've no idea whelther i have got what i wanted in my hand dy because i even don't have the answer. As now i sitting front of PC, i feel so weak but sweet at the same time. I found someone that i can miss and love with a reason.

So high level of patience and trust needed to maintain everything in our life because so far i realised that a great relationship usually start off from good friendship.

Airport is our last met, but i'm really-seriously- honestly- say this, I Miss You already and guess its countless time of i miss you, emphasized again =) I've my amphetaimined when you're there with me, i know it was a true feeling, NOT Not not the problematic effect.

''Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will ! ''

People will never be meant what they seems, and this really has made me treasure all the people who're close to my heart especially you. Weols are running life according to our heart's will. So, if the couple of heart is close, it means they're not far in distance and they're not alone!

Thinks if i ever get my love of my own, i'm gonna love them every single bit of their single day. Don't know why, all these seriously made me feel like treasuring a love of my own. Not to get a ovation to prove that i'm a good lover but i've my own way of loving =)

I often likes to listen to some of the music before i off to my bed. Naturally, i think of you. Songs always remind me of you=) I know someday u'll back to my side...

I'm happy u're a part of me !!!

Being Alone

2009-07-31T22:12:00.004+08:00

Talking about Alone. Yup, i used to be alone ever since i was young. True, and my mum always asked me to join social clubs when i was primary and played with neighbour's child and cousins..... I just didn't. A loner, isn't bad character at all. Its my instinct, i've no idea with it. A loner able to enjoy the happiness in their own life as well as others. I can be so intangible, nobody can be my insurer. Staying alone always given me ample time to think about things. We gonna learn how to think, really!

Here we go...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

=I went to catch up with a couple movie in cinema alone, i CAN.
@Reason
I'm so insufferable enough to call up group of people, going to cinema together BUT discuss and NEGOTIATE what movie to watch, in front of the counter and turns out no conclusion in the end. So pissed off. I rather choose what i gonna watch and grab my ticket, get a popcorn and cup of drink, enter d hall searching for my seat. Thts kinda relax i tell you !!

=I shopping 24/7 at everywhere shooping mall alone, i CAN.
@Reason
I would never feel guilty to persuade myself shopping with me. My body is with me. Haha!! I need to have space and time to do my shopping. I'll feel kinda sorry if there are someone perhaps my friend waiting for me. I am so insolvency to that friend. Lol =) Also, i can't intent on my work i would say. So, it isn't that bad, shopping alone. YES, i agree reluctantly. *blinks*

=I took breaskf, lunch, dinner anywhere all the way by myself, i CAN.
@Reason
Drive myself to the place i wanted to go, sit down and order my meals. Thats easy life i craves. I'm not trying to singularize with other but ya, eating alone silently once in a while making you so amphetaimined sometimes. Isn't it?

=I off to silence site, have a drink and have a view outside d building, alone, i CAN.
@Reason
We need to rest, stop to walk for awhile. Scanning at others, see how they rush their life - how they walk - how they look like when they acknowledge that people are wacthing at them. We found out its beauty and exultation but still, existence of eyesores always here and there. Who knows, it'll be our turns one day, watching by other, observes by other. Human are bombarded with lotsa of problems. We might lost ourself in life but we need to learn how to get rid of those hardness in life, study the problematic of life before u becomes immobilization to clicking life. I'm 19y/o now, and i starts to realise that a person can't be unsophisticated. *Geez*

See..

I am not a weird people, I'm running my life jauntily. lol =) I would never immure myself in a fixed circle.Its not devastated cuz i used to doing whatever i wanted to do.I'm stil myself, i have many boon companion and friends, d issue is, i need to be alone when i think thats d time for me to be alone. People say, we need to make many many friends ,holding a long term friendship, yes i did it unquestionably. Different human dress up different mindsets, interest and views, i like friends but i loves alone also.

p/s: Eager to start my Uni life. *Sigh*

Its notifiable

2009-07-25T12:59:00.007+08:00

Again, i'm here. I like blogging. Its seem an alternative mediun to tell my life stories, which i never say it out face-to face to anyone. Study week started, will having my final on this upcoming August. Haiz, amazing how time flies just like this.

Oh yeah, one of my friend threw me a question last week. He found out that i'm so mysterious guy who make him felt like i've looked myself in my own.. Am i? Maybe he was right... Think of it, first impression of me to my friends are, laugh non-stop guy and talkactive right? But, here is a question to be answered. Am i talking all the way including d stuff hiden deeply inside me? No, i guess definitely. I'm a pretentious guy. I have tons of friends who used to talk, laugh and jokes but its about our life-stuff not MY life stuff. I'm sorry if i did created any delusive to uols that i'm so outie. Ya, i'm friendly if u're friendly as well. I'm open whenever i am with my friends but no matter how open was it, it has a line!!!!

I've too much rubbish around me. I dislike my relatives, i hate them. I feels tiresome toward some of my friends. I need to wear mask whenever we have a so-called Big family reunion dinner for the sake of pretend myself, protect myself. Their tartness would really make u feel uncomfortable. Not all but majority of them. Wistful !! And ya, i ever think before why i am not a STRAIGHT A's student so that they could shut-up forever or tongue-tied for awhile atleast to let my parents feels better. In fact, i'm not. Sigh.

FRIEND, on the other hand can push and pull you up and down, so be careful when you choose one. I don't have intention to blame anyone, but frankly my feelings and they way i treats them will change by the way they treated me. I've my own mini life so please don't step into or emerge in my life and raving inside a circle of mine, thats enough. Somehow, you're gone beyond mine for today and i'm still, acts like normal. BUT, dont try my patience. It has limits.

Again, to those cynics, You'll pay for it whatever you have said. I'm still spry enough now who knows one day i would success so don't be so astounded with the fact by that time i really am. So, before you die, STOP RUBBISHY. I hate upbraid. I'm tends to be more peaceful and silence. Shemozzle isn't my hobby.

I LOVE both of pic above... Its mine =) It turns my mood !!

I hopes i'm a hedonist one day in future life, i crave for it.

Time with a cup of Coffee. I wrote my feelingss.

2009-07-21T05:34:00.006+08:00

I don't know why. All the humans are dozing like dead zombies but me, still sitting front my pc and blogging. I' so think that my life is a mess, filled with strees these few days. Its all out of my control range. I PITY MYSLEF.!!! My smiling will so LOL or just a fake plastic?? I used to laugh, smiles but who know i'm bleeding inside? Have i need to mention if i'm sad? No... And ya,no one could understand what actually went wrong with me and whats up in my mind, even myself. I'm kinda paranoid. I cant trust myself because sometimes feeling cheated me and gives a lie. I feels so lethargic. I hate the current me. I cant have my confidence back. Tons of things seem appear in my entire life. Its ALOT. Flabbergasted enough, why i could just become like this just like the way i am now. I felt my life is kinda disconnected.Problems seemed to evoke dynamically. It have been afflicted me. So numd now. I'm so poor. I really poor. I was always unable to overcome my aekwardness. Somehow, i'm trying now. trying very hard, i know i can make it.

'' Try and think about it. If your heart is closed don't lock it. Keep your keys back in ur pocket, think this though please stay with me, just stay with me. I promise i'll take you to foreverland, just stay''

It isn't a customary for me to love someone, so just don't make me have a phobia against love again. I might hard to gain ur love but i hope we'll always be good.

I cant bear to take you out from my life because i know, i'll so lifeless if ur no longer in my mind. I'll definitely lose myself if i can't dream of you, i'll feel dismay if i can't think of you when i'm missing you. Eventually, i pointed out. Would you become my store- room just to keep my broken heart or you'll never be mine? Couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond to myself.

I wants you you to forget all ur passed just to be with me but can you do that? Okie, maybe you can't just erase ur histories just like that i understand but atleast, I say ATLEAST. Or one day you 're be mine, i wants you to dress up a new life. I know u might been hurt by other before so now i'm here to replace them.. REPLACE? No, i don't wanna be a only replacement but i want you accept me by ur whole heart, shower me with ur true love because i'm doing these all now to you.Its really sad if i'm only a shield of you,to spend ur boring lifetime.Don't okie? Ya, i might be a nonenity in ur life but you're nonsuch for me. You know?

I trying and trying and trying, i wishes one day you can totally be mine. Only belongs to GAZY... Mature's thinking overcome me within these 3days, is it totally overcomes? No i guess. But im mature abit. I know, i grew. In fact, i'm in process to become mature people. I need to. I know it could be my strength in my future. I'm still a small boy who used to think nth before. A guy who likes to laugh, make jokes around and smiles with his trackmark smiling style! I don't want everything turn out complicated utterly at time .My mind ,body, heart are getting tired and deteriorating.

I'm in an appalling predicament, i need someone i need the most to comfort me. To plant a love tree for me. I'm in abyss now ........ Everything seem so grey and ambiguously!

=listen to the songs that remind me of you.. again and again Countless, endless............ And its twilight comes by the time i finished my post. I miss you already ...

Its hard to crave what we want?

2009-07-19T21:14:00.006+08:00

It hasn't been easy for me these few days. I don't know why. Its been a long time people say things about what is behind my back, people will always find something weird in me, of me and about me. I 've nothing to say cuz i don't know what else i could say and what to respond. To be frank, we could hardly control others' mouth. They say what they wanted to say and i accepted and digested. I don't know why, but ya, sometimes i found that where life tends to be the way of how we wanted it to be. Seriously. And, i have a big picture in mind although i try kinda hard to not too dwell on it.I hopes , miracles would emerged one day. I'm a melodramatic guy before this but now, i changed. I've no idea with it tho but i know i've changes alots.

My mind was at sixes and seven. I so confused and i've been thinking alots. I wonder howcome my small cranium could stored such zillion of things.

I blog this entry, just wants to write it down to release what i feel inside. Finally i exploded.

Tell you, my first love took me 8 years but we weren't date in the first 6years. Pity? I'm silly. I'm stupid to have a relationship like this. A gurl i loved the most and she was my first love. People do say, first love is unforgettable.We created a lot of sweet memories back in the days.I have to admit it. True. But it ended up just like this in the end! Like what? Like a story without an ending but in fact, the screne shown 'THE END''. I dont think its the ideal version which people craving for. Me? Everything seemed ungovernable. I'm STUPID enough.

I believe in love at first sight. Is anyone out there believe the existence of love at first sight? I love you since i met you. I could hardly falling in love with anyone.

I found one who are so important in my life now CURRENTLY. I never thought that i could fallen in love such deep. I cant help. I miss you everyday every hour even minutes. I cant get you out of my mind eventhough i'm studying, driving, sleeping.... I know we're from different timeline but i don't care much. I want you. Ever since i know you, i couldn't have a nice sleeping time. I cant fall asleep because i keep thinking of you and i saw a shadow outside my window and was you. It was a dream. I stored all the texts you sent me,read again and again. It makes me smiled blissfully. Somehow, I'm young as i'm still 19y/o, i might be not mature enough to get any relationship but my heart is pain when i think of you. I love you, truly deeply i say this. I'm not the kind who can flirting here and there and fishing others simultaneously. Sorry i'm not.

I need to hid everything in my real life. Always being sigh-ing isn't good to myself so does humans around me. I love you just like the way i love myself or it just more than i can say. I guess myself, will agree enthusiastically. The way you smiles and laughs even when you talked to me, you're melting my heart. I'm so hopeless to get fairy-tale's love. I know its impossible for me to have one. You would never know, i miss you like crazy sometimes even myself have no idea how to allevaite it from aggravating.

I miss everything of you because you're good in everything,i need to point out. Its just insuperable. Usually brightness will become a tool to wake myself up every morning from my window. Open both of my eyes and i'll definitely checking my phone's status, it becomes my routine. Waiting for ur message. We are not really so in sms-ing. Sometime you might reply me late or suddenly lost contact or fell asleep without telling me and making me stayed up late just to wait for ur reply, but i'm still happy. Waited for no reason but i still managed to persuade myself to not get angry. I really do. Sometimes i emo, i mused, i pictured ,but it was YOU, appears in my mind. Too many things can easily remind me of you. The songs you like, the jokes we made.......

I pity myself , am i clapping one hand all the way by myself or i just a carefree that u'll never think of? I've no comment if you are thinking that way, due to i'm not nice people and i'm not rich, i am not attractive and i'm suck. Paranoid swept over me again. And ya, i was trying to dislodge all the stupid feeling of mine. I tried but its hard.I don wanna get maim in the end, no one will synpathize! Failed to saporific myself to get rid stupidness of mine, i need some helps. I'm getting deeper in love obliviously, honestly.

I've a nightmare of love. I've phobia. Now, my love is here for you. Is there any prescription to perpetuate my strong feeling toward you?? I don't wanna miss my feeling. I want it being insusceptible.

Its my purest of love. I say it, i meant it . Thanks for entering my life. I smiles everyday but only myself know, i'm quite LOL inside....

Relief from the abyss?

2009-07-10T23:05:00.004+08:00

Both pictures above was taking randomly in class ONLY.

I've been truly exhausted by now probably used up too much energy in completing my works... Tons of it, piles of it !!! To be frank, i was way so kinda lazy to even move my ass to make this post. *tsk tsk*

I finished all my assignments officially by today. I could able to breath away after this i guess. Oops no. It hasn't comes to the end yet as the finals will be more or less few weeks, catch me up sooner or later. *Sighs* What a life, interesting? Light? Idk ...

My face are so like a dead zombie since i didn't had enough sleep,i've to admit that i'm totally pathetic just to prepare my assignments last minutes. I actually sucks of ranting and i wasn't being emotional, it had debaunched my mood. *bastard* I've nothing to say although there're lots to bring out but i just dont want. As long as my works get done perfectly by my own in the end. But truth be told, i'll more alert from now onward and ya, i'll treat people just like the way they treated me. I need to formulate again, my attitude so does my evaluation's toward others.I've been burying all these things. Cuz,I've no intention to blame anyone, because that wasn't a big sins tho. *tongue-tied*

I'm kind. In fact, too kind! Disappoinment flooded through me. I'm no longer Mr. friendly and Mr.kind !! You might need to be mentally prepare for it. Am not shabby but kinda tired and i seriously need a pause for a second in my life, to reload myself =) *crosses finger*

Enough to say, i rather save my energy than to waste them by ranting and talking nonsense here, saving my energy to MISS SOMEONE WHO I MISS THE MOST RIGHT NOW. And to uols, my beloved readers, i'm just typing here as random as i can get. You might puzzled with my statement and i'm sorry if i do confusing uols. *blinks*

Well, i've been missing in blog's world for few weeks and thanks uols who concerns and cares of my life and blog. Appreciate it honestly =) Although my post sound so down, but i'm happy as a bird also sometimes because i'm not alone. I'm with YOU =) *bby*

Time to refresh.

2009-06-27T11:11:00.004+08:00

I'm here again.. Trying to bosh here for the sake of removing my bad feeling!
Notably, i blog =)
Now,i feels so lethargic. I hate something but i've no reason to brings up my blames. Things seems happened like the way they are and i honestly seriously couldn't help.

I didn't sleep last night. Was stayed up late. Oops,no! I only took more or less one hour to sleep. I slept at 6am approximately but woke up at 7am ! Thinks alots. Mind was at sixes an seven. Have no intention to sleep,paradonically i say this.

Just having difficulty in sleeping,tried to snooze back but still awake. Woke up and writting my Moral essay miraculously. Haiz,there're always have no quality work i could do anyway... I thought burying myself in piles of works was a most effecitive method to alleviate my boredom from aggravating. *bastard*

Somehow,my body is hot. Fever, Flu, Sore throat and Headache and Giddy are all visiting me together. They're just so friendly. My head was scattered all aroundd in dizziness,terrible fever. *youl* . Friends repeated miilion times asking me to seek the doctor. I appreciate uols' compassion and care. And i'm not down to H1N1 yet... Don't worri okie? *Blinks*

--Will still progress my works my assignments... Refresh my mind before i restart my work !!!

p/s: Anyway, i would like to wish my dearest friend, Happy Birthday!!!
From Ultraman =)

Choking To death

2009-06-24T11:04:00.003+08:00

Harlo.. I know. I've been missing for quite awhile ,No.. Its just a month i guess. I was just too BUSY with my current life and i've to admit, my life style changes alots compared to before. Never been this tired =)
I seriously said this, i've no extra times to breath away. *Geez*

My new semester started last last week and everything seemes fine so far but to be frank,its kinda tiring. Received my results last week. I was not shocked but just lil disappointed will do when i got it in hand. Maybe you'll curses me for still, not sactisfies with my results. I got 2A and 2B+/B and i'e no idea. My CGPA is only 3.83. currently

I wants to know,is there anyone out there do listen to me? *gasp* My friends seems so happy with their results although they got a result not as good as mine but why i just couldn't? Am i too demanding myself to be the best? I don't know,in fact,i wishes i could be best but not til among the bes,just one of them !I hate to fail myself. But i did. I ain't perfect somehow im craving myself to be more or less perfect. Friends were kept their finger crosses just to atleast pass their exam but i amn't.I was not aimed for that Obviously.... apparently... normally...!! I'm not wants to pass ONLY. You would have no idea with my self-expectation and it could easily shocks you to the max. See,how crazy am i? I felt guilty since i unable to reache my target. I'm just stupid. I'm not show off kind but i just myself to be good and best. Im just me. I'm an ordinary human same as uols but i've nothing in the end. Improvement is TOO obviously needed,avoid to lag behind of others. And i'm trying and i tries.... Despite mad and angry not to mention, Pissed off !!

Was sad these few days. Like i posted in my Facebook, these few days hasn't been easy for me. I've plenty problems and i'm too green to handle these all. I just couldn't. I'm pretending to draw a BIG SMILES at my face wistfully but you would never know how LOL is my face. And i'm quite paranoid nowadays. I don't know. I couldn't understanding myself like i did before,previously. I've been missing my self-confidence. I've full trustness in myself once in awhile but so obviously its not now. Just couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond back to myself. I said it in a disparaging tone now to myself.

And now,i could completely sidetracked =)

My life wasn't filled with sadness 24/7 cuz somehow i might have my happy hours when im clicking with my craziest frends,chatted,laughed and joked...

I met one frend that cares and nice to me. But sometime i could so disappointed as well as this friend of mine is cold that makes me could hardly figured out. I tries to know more about this friend but i just failed. I feels like we have a lil variances.Was trying to dislodge my stupid feeling of suspicion, and im trying and trying and trying.... I havent generate any answer yet for myself. I couldn't fathorn this friend's interest or mindset or passion since is a kind of cold and i felt angry or mad or disappointed or tired whenever we're in communicating BUT its just stand for awhile. And ya, this friend still my special one. I'm BAD, so bad and I know! =)

My 5th semester is running now and i'm progressing my semester, Hopes that it walks swiftly and peace..

5B or 5C or 5H?

2009-05-30T00:37:00.003+08:00

Now i am sitting here, doing Nothing but typing. I've no intention to do other things. Can’t really think about what i should story-ing for my entry . Those thinking skill is killing my brain's cells honestly so many particular terms need to be remember, plenty assumptions in the case of it. Its many i tell you. Actually, I’m writing this, tiptoe around just wanna assessing about a girl. What you want, girl?

'There were a lil conversation of my aunty with my mum'
Aunty : I would never lets my daughter married to NOT-SO-RICH ppl.
**See, i exaggerated the not-so-rich into 3syllables, you'll know how heavy these three words are?

After i heard it and I was like… I just couldn't catch my breath soon enough to responce to them *Sighed* That is right and I fully respect this Aunty because she truly cares her daughter future’s life.

Ps: Guess my mum would also have same view [For me, its just corny] if the case comes to my her daughters. I could understand. Really!

So i try to raise my eyebrows and honestly ask uols, what you expect from a guy since I seriously couldn't fathorm girl's interest... Was spinning with confusion!

5 C?
-Car
-Cash
-Condominium
-Career
-Credit card

Or
5H?
-Honest
-Humble
-Handsome
-Humor sense
-Handmaid

5B?
-Brain
-Bungalow
-Business
-BMW
-Bounty

Somehow, I’m sarcastic enough to say this, but
I only have Honest, Humor sense, Humble, Brain, Bounty. [F.stop]
How to fishing girl? lol... jUst demands to know whats in ur mind!
Is it enough for uols? Would you takes a discrimination toward a guy if they lack of those characteristics i listed above? Just dropping ur hints then...!!!

I'm back.

2009-05-25T19:27:00.004+08:00

Firstly, to keep all of you guys up to date about me here, I'm back i would say! It had been 7 days I didn't drops any single post here. I had my hols and off to kl/jb. Spent 4days there. I'm so amphetamines by the releved of my stress. My friend JAC was accompanied me, or he also having the same trip as me as we both off to Jb and KL. For sake of wanna have a view. Didn't plan where to go at first and just obey the spontaneous action actions and minds what!

Finally, i accomplished my mission on viewing. The weather there simply loathes me, it's hot and i can feel my cerebrum was about to explode. And i seriously have no idea how paramecium could still stay such heat from the blazing sun. S***T.

Words could never let know what I've done and viewed over there. But pictures will do. I got myself a Cristiano Ronaldo's tees. I honestly like it, costed me ard rm69 only. It was an offer price.

I have to admit that JB and KL has plenty of nice club or pub. I visited atleast 6 pub and club within 3days, isn't this moment that i have been craving for? Yes, it is!. *gasp*

High class indeed. I have no any electrics shock with any girl although i brought myself there, guess wat, JUST for FUN only since i'm kind of clubber. Eyes was keep on scanning on those ppl..!

To be frank, majority of them were drive a nice to reach there. Rich ppl could easily found at there. Girls are basically beautiful and talented in makeup. *Sexiest* I have to say this. Or they like to make-up and dressed up nicely. Feel like from different timeline. I mean girls between kl and kuching. But Kuching have too la. *blinks*

Not forgetting to mention, Many Sissy in Sunway Lagoon. I got myself there with my friend Jac .I couldn't bring myself to hate them.Let put it this way,they were kinda friendly and polite as well so i shouldn't make it should as if they polluted our culture.. They were cool man *Ugh*
We went to Sw pyramid for ice-skating but no picture i could upload since we're not allowed to take photo inside d ice field. *Bastard*

And ya, apart of noticing that, one thing i should be raised up here is, human there was getting more or expand-ing non stop once the day come night. Like vampire who could only appear at night. I don't know why honestly. Its too extravagant if happens in kuching but it comes pretty normal at there. They all are inveterate compulsive nocturnal being by night. Couldn't fathom their interest. *evil laugh*.

And i was shocked when i walked by road, there were numberless of them [men] were kept on promoting or just Introducing their girls to me eloquently. Lifestyle is different between i would say..
This was an scenario when i walked by Kl's town...

Suck man: Hye guy[me], need a girl tonight? China, Vietnam, local?

I was blushing apparently but laughed jauntily also. I never know they could be such brave. They are so-called bapa ayam, right?

Enough say here, let pictures be my presenter.

------------------You could easily scanned a nice cars here and there---------------

-------- I don't know whether I'm standing in front of or the back of Klcc *Omg*----------

............. Main entrance of that pub. The building has a nice lighting isn't it?..................

---------------------Room we rented at Kl. Allocated at Bukit Bintang. 70per night.----------------------

-------------------Me and my buddy, jac--------------------

They are alien to me. They simply came and hugged me. my face was full of false surprised...*friendly or brusquely?* My smiling was quite LOL .

------- See, this would never happens in kuching. As if the shop were offering 100% discount. *sigh*-------

This was the one i went and i have to say, its the best among others. Dancefloor wasn't bad and full of head there. Felt slight awkward at first but once the music played, body moved automatically. *tsk tsk*

Their music that night would have sucked if they didn't have Akon and Lady Gaga. Funniest thing was, some guys were trying to taker gurl brazenly. Pitied them la cuz their actions of taer girls at dancefloor been rejected. *sigh*

------------ They slept on floor once they got drunk, both girl and boy,could u imagine? Pretty bad----------------

==Took this as my last one since i'm leave there. Senai Airport, kl. I'm super happy and i should give a big thanks to my sister for bringing me to hang ard there. lol

p/s: I was so gay mood and would not forget the trip as well...

Nothing but posting.

2009-05-18T19:44:00.002+08:00

These few nights was the night that i slept without Macroecnomic and other subjects chapter in my mind. To be frank, i was able to breath away easy after i finished all my so-called mission. Lol. Somehow, i was so gay since my favourite football club-Manchester United won their important title at Old Trafford and i was like. Wow,its was amazing indeed.

I had my happy hour with my friends, we were clubbing and there were many of us. Just got there to have fun and dance. I met couple coursemates of mine, Henry and Chris. There could be a nice place for you to relax and remove your stress.

Well, i have no picture to upload and i totally forgot to take some photo when i was there probably I'm just in way to happy and forget everything or there were full of head till you can't even walk properly. And my friend got drunk. Pitied her. Anyway, she was wide awake after she took some lemon. *evil laugh*

It was 2.30 am by the time i got home and my dad waited for me, just worried. But but, we were having a FATHER- TO- SON talk. Clever reader should know what i'm trying to link up. Lol. Thanks ya man anyway!

I'm sort of freer than before now. Watching, sleeping, eating and playing are my routines. Every morning started off with an early breakfast of bread and fresh milk. Bored!

Have you even woke urself up an hour earlier just to miss the person you miss a lot? *asked hesitantly * Is it stupid? Or fool? It can be utterly complicated at time and it depends on how we see it ourself. I totally puzzled because i didn't know what else i should do?

Somehow, I know there are variances between us.I seriously honestly realize that, some people say the worst way to miss someone is when they are not far from you and you know you can’t have them.

Finally it comes to the end..

2009-05-14T19:28:00.003+08:00

And here i am blogging. *crap* So died. I feel so frigging tired, not to mention sleepy. Feel so lethargic.

It finally comes to the end of the finals and the whole semester of mine. Everyone did agree saying time swifts. Kinda fast that you don't even found out and in the end was like harlo… its already a semester. Exams are finally over and my brain requires adequate time out.
I expressed my greatest gratitude to some course mates of mine who holds up to me and taught me when i found my lesson difficult in way. Big Thank i say to Hsiang Ting, Berenice, Henry and Jason. Thanks uols frends..

My last paper is over just now and i was bit worried about my E-commerce. I seriously agreed that it was d most difficult paper i sat all this while. Disappointments flooded though me. Really. Gonna say goodbye to my 4flat. i Was trying to dislodge the bad feeling.

I'm happy now. I can lurch around in a daze now and I'm sort of freer than as exam is over. But I'm exhausted and badly need of fresh air. Guess what, I'm now looks terrible. Eyes bulged. Shocked!! But who care? My hols is starting today until June. And i'll utilize my hols to watch football match i think?

Somehow, i'm abit worried. Kinda.. and i honestly wishes that everything wil be okie…
ps: It'll better in time!

Didn't turn out as difficult as i thought

2009-05-04T19:40:00.003+08:00

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Making up a story now..

It was really suck and S**T. I'm sick. Halo... I've my finals and it is not yet comes to the end!! I'm having difficulty in sleeping after I woke up to take my med in midnight around 2 am if I'm not mistaken. Erm... It was 2 am! My brain is still okie now! My whole body was fucking HOT!! I decided to wake up and read my notes. Reproduction. Sitting on my bed aimlessly staring at the piles of notes. Somehow, my head was pain. My head was scattered all around in dizziness. Terrible fever.

Guess what, this all was contributed by d weather. The weather simply loathes me. It's HOT. Second time,i mentioned IT! I could feel that my cerebrum was about to explode. *damn it*
Fever alleviated a LIL BIT after taking Panadol. Didnt take my lunch.. and my dinner! Cant really eat.. Should know why!

Sore throat, fever and headache come simultaneously. It was the most hated combination and am really suffer as i sniffed and sniffed in front of my notes? How lucky am i? Fuck off!!! Thanks to my friend who asked me to drink 2 bottles of 1500 ml of water. Once of my craziest friend even ask me not go for exam next day! I'll kill you i tell you,teased me la. *lol* I'm getting better and my voice was back after a day vacation. Vacation? Sound funny?
Ya, I lose my sexiest voice last night that why i was so speechless.

Enough for it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My paper HRM. i took this pictire without knowing by d examiner.. *blinks*

I just finished my first paper. Once i got my seat which was no. 75, straight away fill up my particulars on the question paper and answer booklet. I straight away flipped the questions when the chief invigilators kick off and it was like, not really difficult and can i say it's easy. Sound like i'm whiz-kid. I'm not la apparently. I'm quite stupid sometimes. Lol... It's pretty bad. I lost my two precious marks in my essay section,i've no idea with that 2 marks. *Jian*. It's more or less suit my style la. It didn't turn out as difficult as i thought it would be but just ok. Hope i could pass my Hr paper. *cross fingers* Duration for test was 3 hours and all i did was cracked up my head and staring at the lifeless HRM paper with my head generating answer for approximately 2 hours. So cold..... I'm sitting to the opposite of air-corn.

Time to stop. Next paper will be Macroeconomic on 11 May. It's d most difficult one. Zillon times than HRM paper. Its d time for me to swallow my notes and upgraded my memory in Macro as well.

My extraordinary week.

2009-04-30T20:55:00.000+08:00

It was a tough week for me. Seriously and honestly, it was hard. Exam is like less than 85 hours. Well, I haven't been properly online this few days. I was pretty much busy or preoccupied with my revision. My notes are shouting at me right now''Read Me''!!

Truth be told, I've miscalculated lotsa of things in my life. Something that I never thought it would happen but it happened just like the way they are. And i've really no idea what to do. I need studying, Do you wanna fucking fail this semester?But who knows u'll?

Quotes: Better don't put high hopes or I shall be unable to bear with the disappointment ahead!

p/s: I should take note!!!!

Busy with my finals exam. So i've been burying myself in notes, kicked my ass off. Really! I’m so frigging pissed off right now.

Nothing but studying for my finals and continues my essay writing. Feel so lethargic. See, May already. It's really amazing how fast time flies inconspicuously. *bastard*

Macro's essay. Unemployment.. Fiscal Policies... Monetary Policies...

----------------------------------------------

My essay. I need to get done!!

-------------------------------------------------------

My stock of notes. ...

--------------------------------------------------------

Kinda cranky by now and feel lie dead zombie. Guess what, i couldn't control myself from not watching the important football match. And everything was worth it due to Manchester United won ultimately. I was so damn freakin excited about it.

Should familiar with this picture since u're my friend!! Isn't it?
-----------------------------------------------
...Somehow…

I've tone of frustrations by now. Problems seemed to evoke dynamically. It assassinated my spirit at once. I know. I shouldn't have them. My finals are kicking in. I need to put my 100% concentration into my studies and obviously I'm jealous. I'm jealousy when she treats him nicely. I tried t endure the pain. I try! But studies always distract me and I secretly love it. It helps to make myself not to think too much.

I know.. Life is just like a test. We're born into a situation to learn a lesson.

04.05.2009 Human Resource Management
11.05.2009 Macroeconomic
14.05.2009 Marketing Management
14.05.2009 Electronic Commerce

This is my finals schedule. I'll do well. Hopefully!

我的独角戏

2009-04-30T20:54:00.001+08:00

如果有一天我找不回对你的眷恋和承诺，我想
那应该是我心死的一天
那应该是我心中的影子走失了方向
那该是我失去我该有的记忆时
或…
我应该失去知觉的时候,在我看你眼眸的最后一次时。。。
你是他的，它属于你的,但我的心已上了锁！被你锁了!!!
我说，
心因为爱而震动;爱因为爱而主动.
我不能主动因为我不可以我自己，
好像站在茫茫人海
没有靠岸；没有彼岸；没有属于；没有影子。
我最不小心的不小心，是遇见了你。
很高亢的心情，很澎湃的感觉，很心酸的滋味，很够力的回味
没有休止符，从开始到现在。
我不知道对你的感觉会有多久有多远但我希望会是在我失去知觉后！
我朋友说失忆是忘记人的灵药，但我没想过要找这种药，因为…想你是一种美！
我不愿意失去记忆，就算我们没有明天。
炙热的感觉让我傻的情愿无悔，遍体鳞伤也无怨无悔！
我不想走出我的第一步，不想做人神共愤的第三者。
有时，我会没有方向，不敢幻想更害怕期望因为那只会是不美的憧憬。
我等待已久的梦也只有自己明白。你的心房永远不会有我的孔明灯。但是，我对自己说如果有一天我得到你，我会爱你多过我自己。
原谅我，
原谅我爱上了你。
暗恋得很失败，我很失败，因为我不知道拿什么来爱你。
风永远吹不走我对你的思念，
真的.. 反而更楼段，更花落心残。
也许,他的肩膀更适合你依靠,你的选择是对的，
因为我看到你很幸福是我比你更幸福，不是吗?
没办法，独角戏永远是一个人在演！

If I Were A Gay..

2009-04-25T16:54:00.004+08:00

I f I were a gay, I think I could understand!! *tsk tsk*

First of all,don't be sooo ? why i used that pissed off title. I didn't means to magnet uols to read my entry but in fact,i wrote as what my title said. C'mon, its fully relatedness okie!! *cheer*

Gay... is no longer a stranger single word for weols and yap, there're plenty out there are gay and so does lesbian. I don't even bother because they are human staying on the same place with us as well. We're equally human!! You will know if you've them as friend. To be frank, some of them can be quite nice and friendly with you. I've lots of them and what I got from them was, they're all either had phobia because of some unhappy passed or from broken-family. Pitied them. They're unacceptable by their family and society and friends, if you can't accept them just kept quiet. They told me and I listened, not a big deal right? It doesnt mean that I'm one of them but i accepted them as friends if they're sincere and good sense of humor. I do.. *blinks*

They're pretty normal and running their routine like us. Don't we judge them as weirdest group and this is pretty ridiculous man. They have their own life and circle of friend as well. We shouldn't brusquely laugh at them because they all do have feeling. Don't do that please. God is looking at you by the time. Kinda flabbergasted ever since I sensed that some peoples around me just simply comments on them as an Animal just because of they're lil bit differents from what he/she should look like actually and I have no idea, just none my business but yap, please think TWICE before it comes out from your big mouth. They've done nothing dreadful sin to u or even disturbing ur entire wonderful life so why you keep on cursing them? Funny though wasn't it? *gasp*

There're no differences as we're human. Please take a look in the mirror and look at yourself closely before you start to bitch other people. LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST!!!

I'm cognizant that being close or even by knowing a person is always considered as gift. So, I appreciate anyone who friend with me and I would never neglect you as well. Is the time to surrender ur strong abhorrence toward them...? It's a foolery I would say. *swt swt*

Posting this entry is just to re-open up some narrow minded people's outdated thinking. We should up-to-date. As we're living on d same atmosphere, try to not backstabbing alot and mark other people's life. You've no right and authority to do that. Should not accusations of the small matters turn into a massive fight. It's not worth it. Totally....

pls: For those who unable accept and disagree with my viewing or statement above,please leave my page for awhile. We're Just different term of mindset,its okie!!

Tag From Ifin..

2009-04-21T21:26:00.003+08:00

I'll answering those question in malay or english since its asked in Bahasa!
1.apekah tndakan anda bile tdnga bunyi kilat atau petir?
Jauhkan hanpone kot,pastu jeritan from mama ''OFFkan ASTRO tu!!''

2.reaksi anda bile org mngutuk anda?
Cerminkan luk muker korg ,klu xder cermin i blikan..

3.reaksi anda bile tjmpe artis kgemaran anda?
Nak buat cam t'kejut kejap pastu gambar ngan dia scra dekat2

4.maxis or celcom?which one you prefer?
Entah? Aku Digi's user!

5.nyatakan 3 bad habit anda.
i) Lembut ati... ii) Coffee lover... iii) Lupak off Tv waktu midnight,T'tido bah!

6.ape yang anda akan lakukan jika org lain sibuk akan hal anda?
Nak kemek ker muka ko?

7.adekah anda mmpunyai rmai pminat?
Mungkin kot... kan baek ati pastu kiut! [Joking jak,biaser nyer org ckap i muker hodoh jer. Hahaha]

8.honestly,what do you like bout urself?
K'pintaran i, stupidness, pastu rasa sayang yg ada t'hadap family i.

9.what is your heigt and weight?
Approximately 170cm and 53kg. Cukup dah nie! Standard i would say!

10.ape reaksi anda apabila anda tkentut dgn kuat/busuk di khalayak rmai?
Susah nak bygkan la, i xpenah pun!

RANDOM QUESTIONS BOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP....

p/s:I might not answer for sudden questions,don't want to recall back those unhappy memories of mine. Sorry!!

1.state the date you have declared wif your 1st couple.
2.adekah anda akan trus bhbung dgn your bf/gf jika anda suda clash?
Maybe or may not. Klu bf dia tu ngak suka dia sms ngan laki lain,biarkan lah,susahkan dia nnt!

3.ape yang akn anda lakukan bile anda mrndui bf/gf anda?
4.adekah anda mmprcyei bf/gf anda sratos pratos?
No.

5.how was your first date wif your couple?
lupak.

6.adekah anda rase bf/gf anda seorg yang pndai memujuk?
7.ape reaksi anda dan ape yang anda lakukan apabile kredit bf/gf anda dhabiskan utk org len?
8.what are you going to do when your besties hav a relationship wif your ex?
9.adekah anda akn mnelefon bf/gf anda apabila dsuruh oleh bf/gf anda?
No,i'll do it when i want to do. Tak suker d'kkong!

10.ape reaksi anda bile mndpt tahu bf/gf anda msih bhubung dgn ex mreka?
Klu kwn biasa2 tu leh la,if not pun buat bodoh jer.Tak nak hilangkan dia. [pikiran yg stupid pd masa dulu,not for current]

p/s: Everyone seems busy with their preparation for final exam so i'll not going to Tag my 'victims'! lol...

Swallow-ING my E-com RIGHT NOW!!

2009-04-20T02:32:00.006+08:00

--------------------------------------------------

Having difficulty in sleeping so i woke up and read my E-Commerce notes miraculously. Should not make it sound as how things happened miraculously,cuz i have to admit that i am an inveterate compulsive noctural being more active at night and i'm doing things nocturnally [maybe?]! *Cant help* Reproduction now i am. I'm still bury-ing myself now with a stock of notes but someone took my last chapter's note. Sue you ar.. *Jian chin* And Good Luck wei to Uols who gonna sit for D finals... Naturally, Chun li also. *Blinks*

I need something to motivate myself now and i have no idea what's d motivation i want by now! This is my result's slip. Hope i can do well again in this sem. Dont fail in any single subj!!!

I Hate you....abbreviations!!!

Be careful i tell you...

Bedtime stories.

2009-04-17T22:06:00.004+08:00

C'mon,making up a story...

A foring day indeed for me. Attended for a replacement class in the afternoon and my goodness, the class has basically been so died. Chatted with my malay friend Asyraf who came in late to ease away our boredom,we chatted all the time but not gossip-ing as what you think,discussion will do. Lect kept on calling me for answering the questions,really kicked ass but i managed to answered it back eloquently. Nah, i'm not exaggerating okie. *Arrogant* + *swt* With a blink of an eyes,its April already. *Omg* Exam is like less than 2weeks times eversince yesterday my friends from other college had pgsyco-ing me with his/her study's ways and timetable... Terrible man!

Already at lost words now. Curses to my lil brain freeze la,just only few days vacation only since i'm busy bury-ing myself with my studies and didn't blogging!! I need putting off my football watching for awhile now in order to prepare for my exam especially my E-com, must keep on brushing up with the exercises. Urgh..? I'm gonna die. *blink*

Got my last semester's result slip today and it was a bit late for me to collect it but since i'm loan student so what to do ? For ur info, this is a trend of my College..? *wtfishhhhh*

I want to lets know this,

Characteristics of my ideal partner for my lifetime;

-----------------------------------------------------)

*A good sense of humor

*Long hair or Short hair

*High Educated

* Same interest , passion, mindset as well

*Sporting and Open minded

*Treat me nicely so do my family

*Able to accept who i am [my temper,style,attitute]

*Regardless of religion

*younger than me or not older than me by 2years o!

*Shorter than me definitely

*Soft but naughty , sweet but wild , cute and filiar

Most Important is

*** Truly deeply love me***

--Bonus--

*Beautiful

*Sexy

*Talented in cooking

*Hot and i don't mind if Spicy. lol

Not really hard to find this kind of girl isn't it? Hopefully *crosses fingers* Study will be most important in my current life and searching at the same time but i found my cup of tea long2 time ago actually! lol..

Studies always distract me from thinking d non-routine pros and truth be told,i secretly like it (i means studies) Silly me! Ermm,i've no time to think about other sadness stuff or the L.O.V.E when i'm studying isn't it? Yeah,i think so! Like what i said, it was a common Friday and every single being in world is working,studying,resting,playing.... I got myself cup of Coffee. I'm a coffee lover as well although my friends used to ell me that coffee contains too much of caffein which is not good for our heatlh,but i'm not thinking that. Refuted!!

At last...Have a nice Saturday yea uols!

-------------------------------------------------

Capturing! Seemed to lost my skill in camwhoring wasn't?
--------------------------------------------------)

( p/s: Hye Shari,this entry.. okie enough or not? lol

It's all my fault?

2009-04-13T00:03:00.005+08:00

Now, right now.... Am sitting down and constantly finding ways to calm down myself. I'm in desperate, need of cognitie restructuring. I need to. C'mon,i don't wanna to hold any secret and, My parents were quarelled and i was like..youl=) *needless to say* Cant help much tho and i really out of idea wat to say and how to break the ice and push out d fire. I'm so down and cursed myself . Why i cant prevent this all thgs? I'm kinda failed to be a son of my parents. To be frank,i was quite lethargic. Hate myself...

Truth be told, i'm now choking to death.. really. Gasping desperately in need for a fresh oxygen before my brain is Bomb. I'm in an appalling predicament now. C'mon,i need to study and doing my revision and ya, there're piles of tutorials and notes are need to be get done. Pls, mum and dad. Can't u guys just stop it and giving back concentration of mine? I don't have intention to blame anyone but i need to alleviate my frustration RIGHT NOW from getting aggravating.

I do feel frigging tired now. Not to mention, sleepy too but i can't really sleep well after these all happened and it was distracted me obviously. My mind is still.... at sixes and sevens!

Award And Party.

2009-04-11T17:23:00.006+08:00

First of all... i'm gonna give a BIG THANKS to my bro, Mr.Shari. A friend i made in blog's atmosphere. I received an award from him. Guess what,this's my second award from blogger and my first Award was from Eric. Thanks man,i'll motivate myself to improve my blog as well. Okie? Please do visit his blog, get it from my ''follower' column there. Nice blog indeed that have zillion comments frequently! Supportive la yea.. lol

Making Up A Stories.....

It was another typical Saturday for me,the weather was just fine with a slight sunshine 2gather with a minor drizzle to overcome d sucking hot atmos. It took more than miracles for me to wake up as early as 10 sumothing.. lol. Went out and had my brunch accompanied by my family. Off to cafe.

Finally, i accomplished my mission on posting photo that i took last night during d outing with my Ex-classmates. Ooops,its actually my best friend- Richard's birthday but it was like a re-union more than a party i would say. Enouh said,let d pictures do d talking la.

Jac and Wan Jun are both my exclassmate and we're studying in d same college atmoshere currently!

Had our dinner before we off to KTV and bar lounge. To tell you the truth,weols chatted from A to Z garrulously and laughed till burst in tears. You wont able to control your tears. Funny and Craziest them! Just kinda Click with them. Exhausting but when you have those people around you esp plp like friends,the journey turned out nice. *ohh!*

D gurls whom i had an outing with

We parked our big asses at Bar lounge after a KTV-section and ya,d craziest people were all inside and what else, enjoyed la man! Soory to say but ya,there're Zero pretty gurl over there,my friend told me. Is ZERO!Thats y, there're a feel so-called Electric Shock was not happen. Poor thg. *cheap*I went there for enjoy instead of fish-ing gurl,okie? I'll always loyal with d one i love currently ONLY!

D one wearing spec was d one born on yesterday, 19years before. Silly him. *gasp*

Photo taking was an alternative and easiest way to alleviate boredom since there're no any '' nice landscape'' that would peep. Lol. Should know what i'm trying to link up. Sik derr awek cun la.. *fainted*

Here, had a snap with my gf last night.

Drank lots of beer and it finally 'contributed' me lil blur-ing and giddy, its distract me but managed to overpower it and sent my friends to their house safely and so does myself. *Omgsh* Went back approximately 1.30am after ''forced'' by my dad with a shortgun over my head because it wasn't a custmany for me to be back such ''early'' . Hahahaha!! Mum was waited for me last night (wasn't it considered as morning?),love ya mum! *cheers* Phone beeped and friends asked whether got home yet or not. *10s*

Got home+Showerd+ Drinking Coffee(my favourite apparently) but straight to my room and died on my bed,it lasted only awhile as i overcomed my drowziness for online.Was exhausted physically and mentally.

"David Archuleta Live in KL"

Why d lie is not here Kuching. Pissed off. My beloved idol [David Archuleta ]. He is in town as part of a tour to promote his self-titled debut album, which is making its way to Gold status in Malaysia. Love his voices and songs and style and his trademark smile..... His hit singles, Crush and A Little Too Not Over You are my Favourite man....

Tell me why , you're so hard to.....

Weiiiii....Comment-ing function died.

2009-04-08T19:09:00.003+08:00

I was soo pissed off today. C'mon,friends told me that they can't leave comment at my template. Then I noticed that really cannot leave any comment after I change my template from ''XY''. No wonder i've zero comment frm uols during my recent updated. I change back to the template Blogger provide but still cant post comment but at last i managed to fix it. But... its d '' pop up window'' style,not d previous one. Haiz.. someone noe how to get it back?

SHIT....

F**k

C***k*N....!!!

Puzzled.

2009-04-07T20:26:00.003+08:00

I've been assassinated by a phone called from my friend yet i was still dozing like a dead human on my bed. Chatted with but ya, i was in bloody bad mood on time myself cuz my mind was still cacat and abahed, at sixes and sevens... Somehow i managed to calm my friend down as she was lil okie finally after d conversations. I paradonically thinks that myself was kinda weird since i could help them to solve their's but not my own. I've undergone d depressing day and proble seemed to evoke dynamically and i'm so sick with it. *blink* C'mon, is there anyone out there cognizant d most easiest method to alleviate sadness or presure from aggravating?

==============================
My memory are pathetic deteriorating abrutly right now although i'm bury myself in Macroeconomic and not forgetting to swallow my Marketing Managemen's notes since i might have an exam for that two subjects. But feel like stuff is not going inside my brain. *wtffff* Study like a nerd? No, i'm just honestly hate myself from bringing an empty brain then simply enter d class. Pretty bad. Wish me luck. I must admit that that i'm more of a nocturnal than a diurnal. *tsk tsk* So,i'll only continues with my another tons of notes later at night and after that i'll wait for my beloved Manchester United's match which is approximately 3 in d morning against. Trying to find ways to get myself out frm an abyss.

Study...

Study...

Study...

Time to refresh and update?

2009-04-06T22:32:00.002+08:00

So,my day started freaking much like the same...

Woke up as late as 10 sumthg and showered plus dresses up myself but not to forget,online for awhile. My friend was picked me up on punctual to college today. Big thanks to you friend. lol. College was a lil draining. Don't know why? The day were so long to me and by the time i got home,straight died on my bed. I watched my beloved team(Manu)'s match last night and they won d match. Am just love Manu so much. *Crap*

Went out and had my dinner with my family at 8pm. Weols were headed off to KFC because there're cold enough. Is that considered as a reason? *Crap* I was bloody hungry and ya, ordered a dinner plate to satisfy my hunger and,
Guess wat,i almost fainted when i saw some girls were look more than a boy. Uols should know what i'm trying to link up. Here's a story.. There was one GIRL(i think so), talked with the sweetest of voices and playfully touched HER other GURL frend extravagantly and that GURL seems enjoyed with d touch-ing section and i was like.. What the fishhhhhhh. *swt* Pissed off la. C'mon,they were sat front of me and i was totally NO MOOD to have my food. Feel like vomit. Really S**T! Uols(i meant these two ''gurls'') have a right to this all but pls, not publicly. Truth be told,i'm not ranting now. I respect those whom are homo or lesb because i was soo gay with these frends too and i have them alots but for that two girls,they were kinda derastated. Its too much i would say.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feel like so lethargic this few days even my friends and family asked bout it. I've no idea. Was so sick with d questions. I woefully can't get this all sucking thgs out of my mind. I ain't a whiz-kid that's why i couldn't settle thg in one goal but i'm trying, atleast i've tried.*youl* My neurones system are out of turn right now. Or i'm just don't have the guts for my decision making. Nah, kinda pathetic, am i? Its a pang for me.I dumbly smiled to people but the smiling was quite LOL only. This's not d real me. She is quite important in my current life as contributed me motivation to do my routine. Again. words could never express what i feel inside. Different people dress in different ways so pls,dont think that i'm stupid/ an oaf because I've my own way to ♥ a person who i ♥ the most,isn't it?
====================================================
Apart from noticing that, i should throw a question to all my friends whom are around me,..*cluck*
Am i a bad temper kind of human? Tell me if i am,distinctly. I could not get d answer for myself honestly as i was puzzled. One friend of mine was telling me that i am bad temper and irritabled sometime. *Urgh?*
I've to admit and i was a lil flabbergasted bout it. I'll try to restrain or probably pare my temper from now onward. *gasp* I need a nocturne to let myself go...

I Pitied myself.

2009-04-03T00:46:00.006+08:00

Already on d way lost words. Traffic is congested inside my head and stopped my working's neurones and nerves. Pathetic,kinda!

Nothing went wrong throughout d whole day but lil disappointed and feel like dying. It's Obviously and can't smiles like previous days as i was kinda happy with something and felt kinda sweet. All out of sudden,changed dramatically.

Am extravagantly concerned someone's feeling and so does life. Never been such lifeless. I'm a stupid one. Was totally tongue-tied and i don't know wat else i could say and ...

Currently uninspired. Turned off d songs that i almost played nocturnally,which could remind me of her.

Truth be told,sadness was slowly flowing into my brain. I pumped up full of vitamins and ya, i was on account of all the seriousness. But i really can't get thing out of my mind. It seem problematic isn't it?

Am intruder who trying to enter someone's life with knowingly she have him and the result was, i couldn't fetch myself out promptly and i wondered how can i find a way to get out from there? I'm not such that fearless. Am a ne'er-do-well kind. Should i unmask henceforth?Am nitwit. I can't forget this all nonchalantly. Totally CANNOT!

Exhausted, physicallya and mentally. Feeble minded at all.

Goku's Tuesday [Morning part]

2009-03-31T10:38:00.004+08:00

An extraordinary morning again and i was so cold myself in d half way of lecturing since i sat opposite to the air con and i was like.... what d hell la!

Firstly, to keep all of you guys up-to-date about me here, I gonna start my storytelling now. Lol. I was procrastinating to study this few days due to there're some tests in this week and the next next week so I have to and I actually had done my stock of notes. Hectic. I didn’t feel like getting on with another stock and i’m BORED. Stress is kicking innnnnn! Tests are around the corner ba. Come on,don't always waiting for d football match la....

So, what happened today was that I woke up lil late and I hate my Mr. Alarm because he didn’t do his job as wake me up on time and I had rushed to college but not before i sent something to my friend. I was slept too late i think and the sun raised dy in d morning but it was just blocked by thick curtains in my room that’s why la… Not my fault at all... D shit curtain.

As usual, I slept quite late. Around 4am and before parting to my dreamland, I would lie on my bed and recall or scanned my own brain what I’ve done for the whole day and the scanning result was nothing except my routine as went to classes and blabla….

Gonna going out with my course mates tonight and the purpose of d outing is still a secret before we hang out,*shhhhh* with my new circle of friend plus my old classmates, three of them. I meant d OLD one. Emmmm, might off to ktv I think if I’m not mistaken.

My phone beeped [Bellas_Lullaby], replied from my silly power ranger. Wonderful night for me, I meant last night. Great chat with Winnie.

She is lil funny if you’re really got CLICKED with her and you could garrulously talking non-stop with her. Chatted from d top to the bottom and sure thing we touched some study’s stuff. We’re not bubbling yea but... She won finally just because she read through all d books? I kept on emphasized that me, myself now is Goku and no longer Ultraman or Edward but she still forgot this smallBIG point at last! *Geeez* Wasn’t satisfied though. But d funniest part was when i told her that i was reading her school magazines and I knew she was kinda embarrassed but truth be told,I was sooo enjoyed with the magazines. Sorry yea.. Haha! I sat there on my bed, read it all so the so-called ''nice pictures''. What else? laughed la come on...! My smile was permanently on my face. *jian* See, i changed my topic d apparently. This is an experience I encounter day to day one kie. Lol. Oh ya, she was sick and a lazy her don’t want to go for the check up. Seriously hope that she could recovery asap because she would have a piles of work to go through.

p/s: Chun li also get ill so take care of urself.

Can’t wait for the hangout section and i seriously wished that it will be a nice one la.

Continuing my lecturing soon and gonna enter my class room now!!

Ask Yourself !!

2009-03-29T11:59:00.007+08:00

A hot blazing day was spent in my bed room. Slept until a dinner time from afternoon.. Kinda devastated isn't it? *gasp* I've to admit that.

27th(yesterday),i was totally pathetic. was not being emotional but ya, i can't help Elyn to do well in her assignment because she passed up d assignment dy by the time i told her that i checked and modified for her's and asked her to use d newer copy to submit... Wasn't satisfied so i flipped the newspaper angrily and frustratingly! Haiz.. Hope she can really get a good result tho. blablala..
Get rid of it and come on... should happy bit since its hols...

For me,blog is an alternative medium to show my feeling as well and now,i should let know d thgs below...

Truly Ask Yourself....

-You're always smiling to yourself when you think about her/him *Imaging something such you’re holding her/his hand*?

-When you look at she/he, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her. Aren’t you?

-You start listening to slow songs or d songs that would remind you of her/him while thinking about her/him..? *memorized d lyric somemore*

-Applying her/his photo as your laptop/desktop/cell phone’s wallpaper secretly and always peep/looking at your screen frequently?

-You cell phone will always full of her/his messages ONLY and you read their Texts and msgs Over and over again..? *smiles again while reading*

-You get so jealous when someone comments them saying they are cute or beautiful..?

-You'll feel shy whenever you're with him/her and you blush when u hears their name..?

-Always wants to know everything that related to her/him and trying best to grab any opportunities that could chat with her/him..?

-If she/he happy, you too and oppositely you’re down once you know she/he is sad, right?

Do uols have any signs that I mentioned above now in your currently life by the time u're reading ..? What is that all actually means by?I OWNED d all from above list. How..?

Come on, is anyone out there could tell me accurately,if a person have those signs meant d person is falling in love?

Is love that important to everyone..?

2009-03-25T14:57:00.008+08:00

How am i going to start this entry...?
Let see let see..
I was off to the Cafe just now and had my lunch there, weols still lepaked over there after finished our food. Chatted and laughed till burst in tears. *Craziest stories telling competition*

Next, move to next topic...

Sorry to say but ya,Oh GOD, the day has basically been so boring especially my Marketing Management’s class. * Omg* Talked about this and that, I was like an ikan mati but still managed to pay attention for the lecturing. I’m super hungry half way through the lectures and i was like… eager to meet with my food. And having my Macro class right now but since it’s a holf an hour’s break time, am blogging now in the Lobby here cuz my broadband connection at home is abit cacat but the internet in college also suck la, that really sucks for me and I’m quite fed up now. Not really proud of it...Macro class is okie today, studying about the MONEY. I feel like stuff is actually going inside my mini sculled brain as well.

Lobby this is....

I have been truly exhausted by now probably used up too energy, not enough sleep. Went for badminton section last night made me felt so tired tho but I was so gay mood because all my friends were there too. Had a nice smses section chatted with my so-called W-ranger till she didnt nudge me again when i said i would like to search my dragon balls. You should know who that person are by the time u read this isn't? Hahah.. *blek*I was way kinda busy to even move my ass to make this post but i want to post it.

Ve abit fever and sore throat since I woke up this morning so having a hard time when eating my food. Fuck off!!

Dead Zombie face..? Sick....*

Got smses from my friend,all d way from Penang last night. He was just broken up with her girl friend. Can’t help it though but since he is my bro, so I take a responsible being gay with him last night and I was listening to him. I can sense that he was so freaking down and his moods were dropped to the bottom from the top. I was so datuk shocked and I could never speak like a wise lawyer to him because I, myself are also in the circle of love. I was sucking scared that he would do those foolish acts but god bless, nothing happened after that. *I’m sure u’re reading this so just try to cool down okie, bro* Let the time do it job, you’ll forget her one day.

Pitied la my bro, hopefully this would not affected his studies anyway.

So… Is love really that important to people.? I’m totally out of idea and i honestly can’t seem to create a full marks answer for him and so does myself. Well, we gotta admit that everyone was pretty frustrating about LOVE now. To tell you the truth, me too!

Shit, i hate to say this! But, thinks if i ever get a girl of my own, I’m gonna love her every single bit of her every single day. I was puzzled, don’t know why, all these seriously made me feel like treasuring a girl of my own. Uols must think that I am crazy. I’m totally not!! I’m not a melodramatic guy...

Qutes Gazy: Losing people that we love because of death is million times less hurt than being for on this same land named Earth.

It is really super kinda HURT. Don’t you think so? Nah, i’m not exaggerating but it’s true, at least for me.

*Its only my own view, if there’re anyone who disagreed with it are suggested to ignore this part*

Calendar wrapped to 25th March, meaningless at all for me! lol.

My fingers really tired and I feel like sepak the keyboard cuz it’s fucking hard to press and type. Time to stop my now cuz I’m gonna dating with my class to continues with my Macro lecturing.

'' How commercial bank create their own credit and expanding the money supply'' such an interesting topic cuz its all related to Money! lol

and...

Relax my mind first!!
Thus, my last word is,
Cya again… Fetch you with update later.

What's the HELL is going ONNN?

2009-03-18T15:28:00.007+08:00

I have 2 reasons why today is the worst day of mine for the whole holiday…

--I SENT my assignments to the wrong email address who are same class with me. All out of sudden and I unable to responded back. I'm a CLOT... Hopefully she would never realize it till the due date or else my assignment (points and ideas) will be taker by her. But don’t copy BLINDLY la Okie?
***MOAN***

--I was pissed off la! I can’t even sign in to my blog’s dashboard. I can sign in via other pc or laptop but not my own. What’s go wrong…? Is there anyone out there know what actually happens? It’s showed ‘internet explorer unable displayed page’ when I tried to sign in to my own blog. [bX-qazly4] I’ve phobia now and kinda sensitive with THAT shit thgs. What the hell is it? I’m now blogging here Starbuck,using my friend's lappy and to just parked my big ass here to post my entry. *helpless* So fucking down me because I realized that blogging has become a part of my life. MY LIFE.....
I was seriously frustrated now. I realized that it’s been 5days since my last updated. I seriously want to kill someone. *Fuck off*

Dispiriting

2009-03-17T21:45:00.002+08:00

Made my life harder.. Wana wake up earlier to avoid this all. Wtfishhhh..

Shit thg i mentioned below...

See the pict i uploaded above? I am totally out of idea recently with it. SEGI COLLEGE IS SUCK!This is the second times i rated. Really kick ass la... don't you think so? Bad temper,feel like killing someone. Hello,is there anyone out there who could fulfill my desire? I need a help from Mr. alarm. To wake me up earlier from now onward cuz i dislike or try to avoid the senario on d top.*Freaking shit bad*

Totally ignored the shit out of me....

Since this is a medium for me to tell and share to the people out there my updated news,i would like to start my so-called presentation?

15th March 2009

Went to college as usual for my E-Commerce class. Had my lunch with my coursemates. Entered my class. Sucking things was, our test have been postponed to the next class due to our lecturer resist want to finished the topic and NO laptop in the class by the time. WHAT? I was studied for it and i was like... Needless to say. Pointless! SHIT thg indeed. Its explained how i got so utterly pissed off about my feeling. I just done with a stock of notes but... Dato nyer... I hate to say this. Passed!!! Got home-showered-dressed up. Y? Our family have a dinner so called reunion. A simple dinner i would say but meaningfull during it. Moment full with happiness and its amazing how time flies. It was like Datuk lama we didnt have dinner together. My cousins were came back from Penang and Johor. Had a great chat with them and gossiping. In the middle of time,i accompanied my sister,went to supermarket. Surfing net and dis some research to polish my assignment[Human Resource Management]. Parting to dreamland... zZzZzz

16th March 2009

Sent my sister to airport and the flight was at 8sumthgs. Depart kch and Arrive JHB. Went to college. Chatted with Jason and Adam before the class. Oh god,the day has basically been so boring and eventually i dozed off for lie half and hour.Except for the part when i want for my lunch. Quite talkactive i am and my friends cracked some jokes which most of the time made me laughed my ass off.

Urgh.. d lecturing was okie but just my laziness kot made me felt boring and sleepy. Was really looking forward to be back to home cuz i missed my snuggly fluffy blanket.*Omg* Paid for my summons's and i was like... *haiz* A large pan of Hawaiian chick pizza. Watched an indo drama- Jelita. It's really nice and the leading actor are all charming2. I've to admit this,i've fallen to this drama.

My brain was stopd working for a few minutes,frustrated. Kinda bad mixed feeling. I honestly cant forget about her. Its gonna really hard for me to remove anythgs. But i'm sick of being the third party,Antagonist!!

Tell me why ..

You're so hard to forget

Don't remind me

I'm not over it

Tell me why..

I just cant seems face the truth

I'm just a little too not over you

Eventfull day

2009-03-15T00:42:00.003+08:00

First at all, i would like to shout. WTF! The General Hospital 's services was damn shit. I'm so sick with the staffs so does the administrator. Kick their ass. Doing nothing except enjoyed the air-con who sponsor by us as a TAXER. Get rid about it. Pulling me down. Quite an eventfull day for me today as i running up and down around the hospital. Come on,relax our mind for awhile la instead of thinks further the shit things!

For this past month,i've downloaded a TON of music,it's my life apparently. Love the song, ''A little Too Not Over You'' sang by David Archuleta. Meaningfull song.

This week was a kinda busy one. Nah, i'm not exaggerating yea. Passed my assignments, and like what i said before,loitering around hospital was really downcast-ing me,shifted me awkwardly.I started studying today,tonight,right now. Shocking isn't it? Test on Monday,now i'm touched abit about my E-commerce. How streeful is that. Hopefully i can score higher mark than preious test which was 76s. Wish me luck and ya,i hope my coursemates score the bigger number too. D closer one ONLY!
I could sensed that i'm kinda a perfectionist now and again all this while,i hardly regret with what i've done because i always demanding for the best as long as i think i can do it. Avid myself being the top but i failed sometimes. Trying to dumped this way of thinking as well.

Move to other topic. Accompanied my friend,for sake of buying laptop. She got it finally and yea(Dell 1525,pink,rm2299),her smile was permanently on her face.*blek* Then off to a Cafe(Food Avenue). We parked our big ass over there and sempat for me,catch up with a football match a great match between my team, Manchester United versus Liverpool. Shit thing happened. I was pissed off. So derastated because Liverpool routed Premier League leader Manchester United 4-1 inscrutably. So sad and i was like.. Ikan mati!Out of sudden. Gonna MOURN,should i? as a manu's fan? I seriously want to kill someone now. Come on,is there anyone can fulfill my desire?

Got home,showered and went out again. Picked my mum from hosp and got home again. But bought Chicken Egg Hotdog Chesee burger somewhere around Jalan Airport before i reached home. Tasty cuz it costed me rm 5.50! I was like NENEK lama didnt eat the ''roadside burger''as i settle it ravenously. lol

Shit,i've to say this. Gonna studying for awhile and let myself go after that. Calendar wrapped to 15th March 2009 dy.
Will fetch you with update later.